Mirella

on a highway to hell

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

*drinks, head explodes immediately after

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

10 years ago, holding a device in front of your face and talking to it would've gotten you psychiatric treatment. Now, it gets you followers

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

Saturday Night

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

Trump bought himself into this race. He doesn't care about us, being President is just something he wants to do because he's bored

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

Trump is a spoiled brat who gets everything he wants in the toy store because no one tells him no. Fuck those brats. Fuck trump. That is all

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

Take into account that most presidents are nothing but puppets working for the greedy higher ups, but Trump himself is a greedy higher up

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

Trump says things that are appealing to people right now. He's like a pedophile telling you he has candy, but he's lying just to fuck you

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

Trump supporters seem to like Trump because he speaks his mind. That's a good quality to have, but not if you have a terrible mind

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

The KKK speak their minds all the time, why don't we just vote them into congress? At least they're honest, right?

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

"I lost my virginity"

"Ok calm down. Where's the last place you saw it?"

[Mirella @mirelat_]

@BJCalvillo I'm so proud of you

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

This is the happiest day of my life. I can die happy now

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

I'm desperately trying to win my own affection

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

Call me old fashioned but I think we should bring back religious human sacrifice

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

IM DYING = laughed out loud

HAHAHAHAHA = really funny

Hahahaha = funny

Haha = not funny, but I'm trying to be nice

Ha = FUCK YOU

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

Social Media Star: "Hey gorgeous, just wanted to remind you that you're worth it 😍😍"

"Sir pls leave ur scaring everyone in this Applebee's"

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

Social media has turned everyone's life into a reality show, all of which are depressing to watch

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

Why is it a big deal that there may be gay characters in the next Star Wars film? Just make them cool characters, who cares if they're gay?

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

Humans haven't mastered the art of shutting the fuck up yet

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

No religion is better than the other. If believing in a bearded man in the sky gets you through a shitty shit day, more power to you