Terrible Human

Terrible advice by terrible people.

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

#dogfriendlydining #hawaiipetition #pleasesign https://t.co/5sb2UROcvU

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

@HospitalityDNB How many total tickets are you selling for this?

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

#TreeMobile the best hashtag you can post today. Takes a few seconds to plant a tree. #EarthDay2018 #tmobiletuesdays #dosomegood 🌳❤️ https://t.co/QdHCcMJD2x

[T-Mobile @TMobile]

Join our early #EarthDay celebration this #TMobileTuesdays:

For every tweet today using #TreeMobile, we’ll donate a 🌳 to @Nature_org’s #PlantABillionTrees campaign. RT and help make a difference now!

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

@HospitalityDNB How many total tickets are you selling for this event?

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

Add to your collection & fill up your game board for a chance to win prizes - including Starbucks for Life. #StarbucksforLife https://t.co/7VOR8gL0Y1

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

If we're delayed in #SFO due to "weather"... why are all the other planes taking off around us @united ? #liarliar

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

@AmericanAir sold me an "exit row" seat for $70 xtra with a seat right in front of me while person to the left got a real exit seat. #WTF

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

@AmericanAir sold me an "exit row" seat for $70 extra with a seat right in front of me but the person on the left has a real exit row. #WTF

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

Screw you, @Snapchat for changing my profile to a 2-bit cartoon looking shit. Going ghost in protest. #bitmojisux

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(201): That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

@zebageba It also stands for Bureau of Land Management. As in national parks and preserves and conservation of environmental resources.

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

You know you're in deep shenanigans when you're complaining there's not enough shenanigans going off around you. #eyeofashenaniganstorm

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

Wondering how people at a laundromat can afford to use Tide? #idontevenbuythatstuff

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

Pine air freshener... the whiff of a Christmas poop!!!

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

Oh look- flying economy just got even crappier!! #UnitedAirlines https://t.co/BkrqXK1ncg

[United Airlines @united]

Today we announced Basic Economy, a new option in addition to our current Economy offering. Compare here: https://t.co/Z6vGLsP9dn

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

Apparently cats do fart. #questionswhisperedtosirilateatnight

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

Cheat on your girl with a fat chick.

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

I can't dance Salsa but I can make it.

[Terrible Human @missedguidance]

Washing birth control pills down with wine at night and praying they don't cancel each other out.