Thea Vergara

Dont trust too much. Dont love too much. Dont hope too much. Because that too much can hurt you so much

[Thea Vergara @MissErazm]

Friend: "Whats a good movie?" Me: "Snakes on a Plane." Friend: "Whats it about?" Me: "Horses... horses on a boat."

[Michelle Erickson @lbedinadze]

Take a pic of a friend with their face squished against glass. Assign to phone contact, it'll look like they're trapped inside your phone.

[Thea Vergara @MissErazm]

I don't care how funny something is, if I don't like you, I'm not laughing ....

[Thea Vergara @MissErazm]

I wonder if the clothes in China say, 'Made around the corner.'

[Thea Vergara @MissErazm]

Never fight battles God has already won for you.

[Kimberley Rose @ichernizov]

Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.

[Paula Burns @1993Ereshchenko]

You can't control your emotions but you can control your actions, so always think before you act.

[Thea Vergara @MissErazm]

The awkward moment when the GPS tells a gay guy to go straight.

[Lawrence Guerrero @93Gurzhi]

RELATED: Wife getting suspicious of all the little hairs in our vanilla ice cream.

[Thea Vergara @MissErazm]

An ugly personality will crush a gorgeous face.

[Thea Vergara @MissErazm]

Real men always have time for their woman. No matter what, even if he's busy, he'll find a way to make time for her.

[Thea Vergara @MissErazm]

My son told me he could see the future. So I punched him in the face. "Guess you're not very good at it."

[Elizabeth Conti @platays_zinoviy]

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

[Thea Vergara @MissErazm]

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

[Thea Vergara @MissErazm]

Those who say they "sleep like a baby", haven't got one.

[Marion Morgan @korenfeld82]

This is how my week goes mooooooooooooonday.. tuuuuuuuuuuuuesday.. weeeeeeeeeeednesday... thuuuuuuuuuuursday.. fridaysaturdaysunday.

[Thea Vergara @MissErazm]

Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!

[Thea Vergara @MissErazm]

Two types of people that annoy me: Drunk people when I'm sober. Sober people when I'm drunk.