Kimberley Rose

People miss you more when they see how much happier you are without them.

[Lynne McCoy @86Apollos]

ME: "OMG I have to tell you this story about -" *starts laughing* *deep breath* "Ok there was this -" *starts laughing*

[Theresa Miller @kborozdichev]

Regular naps prevent old age..... especially if you take them while driving.

[Kimberley Rose @ichernizov]

Yawning: Your body's way of saying "10% battery remaining."

[Juanita Day @pudusears]

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

[Regina Gordillo @testeshnikova]

When a movie says based on a true story it gets 10 times scarier.

[Kimberley Rose @ichernizov]

Don't call my phone and ask "Who is this" . . you called ME

[Kimberley Rose @ichernizov]

Never fight battles God has already won for you.

[Kimberley Rose @ichernizov]

I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?

[Kimberley Rose @ichernizov]

Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.

[Kimberley Rose @ichernizov]

Just discovered a 2nd way I can make myself cry--yanking out a nose hair.

[Margaret Blais @musyakaeva1]

I would go through many things for you. Let's start with your bank account.

[Amber Frye @F6Kutashovaz]

Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die.

[Anne Robinson @76Protas]

Don't complain about the dentist fee of $90 for 1 minutes work to extract a tooth! He can make it last longer!

[Kimberley Rose @ichernizov]

One thing a man learns from an argument with a woman is to be a good loser.

[Julianne Sites @2016Steshenko]

I just woke up 5 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. What kind of Inception bullshit is this?

[Kimberley Rose @ichernizov]

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

[Kimberley Rose @ichernizov]

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

[Timothy Fuentes @KimaLapay]

"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

[Kimberley Rose @ichernizov]

I hate when people borrow money from you then get mad at you cause you want your money back.

[Kimberley Rose @ichernizov]

Nothing is more Beautiful than a real Smile that has struggled through tears..