Lynne McCoy

Don't leave something good to find something better. Once you realize you had the best, The best will find better.

[Lynne McCoy @86Apollos]

ME: "OMG I have to tell you this story about -" *starts laughing* *deep breath* "Ok there was this -" *starts laughing*

[Lynne McCoy @86Apollos]

If my wife ends an argument with "Fine, do what you want!" I'm pretty sure the words "If you do, I'll stab you in your sleep" are implied.

[Lauren Venegas @Fedyushina2016]

Those women on Fashion TV are so thin because no matter what time you switch to the channel, you'll always see them walking.

[Winifred Sorensen @94Akhmadeev]

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.

[Lynne McCoy @86Apollos]

Remember kids, if a stranger offers you free drugs... Take them and say thank you, because drugs are expensive.

[Linda Woolf @Zbiglaya82Pe]

You don't got to like me but you damn sure gonna respect me

[Lynne McCoy @86Apollos]

That awesome moment when you're telling a lie and your best friend notices and joins you.

[Laurie Yohe @GelsemMega]

A jealous woman does better research than FBI

[Elizabeth Lopez @titenskaya]

"I love you" "OMG, really? What a coincidence!" "Why? You love me too?" "No, I love myself too!"

[Lynne McCoy @86Apollos]

*Browsing Facebook* *See's bitchy status* 78 COMMENTS! *Gets popcorn* This is gonna be good.

[Wynona Parker @lkhvedorets_yd]

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

[Lynne McCoy @86Apollos]

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

[Priscilla Holman @81Dosifey]

Those cheap-ass pencils with erasers that fu*k up the paper more than the mistake you want to erase.

[Christina Merritt @tulintsevav]

What it says: "Do not touch." What I read: "Touch when nobody is looking."

[Lynne McCoy @86Apollos]

Hellurrr!!

[Sylvia Ross @batonovag]

If someone asks you about a musical you haven't seen, fake it by saying, "I love that part near the end when they all sing together."

[Carol Fair @eelpidifor]

"What's a c-section?"