Lauren Venegas

Haters are like crickets. Crickets make a lot of noise, you hear it but you can't see them. Then right when you walk by them, they're quiet.

[Lauren Venegas @Fedyushina2016]

It's sad when dudes cheat on their beautiful girlfriends with baby monkeys, hamsters, guppies, turtles, and every zoo animal you can name.

[Danielle Pace @bezzubkina]

For every action, there is a corresponding over-reaction.

[Lauren Venegas @Fedyushina2016]

"Dad, was there colored TV when you were a kid?"

[Lauren Venegas @Fedyushina2016]

Those women on Fashion TV are so thin because no matter what time you switch to the channel, you'll always see them walking.

[Joyce Hill @yxavuzigh]

I hate when people tell me to calm down when I'm not even mad.

[Frances Taylor @amagdalyuk]

I don't care how funny something is, if I don't like you, I'm not laughing ....

[Delores Austin @mikhail_shastik]

Once you take my kindness for weakness, I will be a permanent asshole to you.

[Danielle Pace @bezzubkina]

You're angry at me for that? That's cool, just let me know when you grow up.

[Anne Robinson @76Protas]

When a bird craps on my car, I like to sit outside and eat a plate of scrambled eggs, just so all the other birds know what I'm capable of.

[Janine Batson @88Akinfiy]

You know, I wasn't convinced about that complicated political issue until I saw your overly simplified bumper sticker.

[Theresa Janson @mololina1]

I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?

[Sylvia Kearney @pasykin]

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

[Lauren Venegas @Fedyushina2016]

Never let someone steal your happiness... it was never theirs to take.

[Lauren Venegas @Fedyushina2016]

Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.

[Keva Hartley @DiyaginMr]

Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.

[Lauren Venegas @Fedyushina2016]

Everything's funnier when you're supposed to be quiet

[Lauren Venegas @Fedyushina2016]

In kindergarden, anyone who had the 64 color pack with the sharpener ran that muthaf*cking classroom!

[Elizabeth Conti @platays_zinoviy]

Nothing is more Beautiful than a real Smile that has struggled through tears..

[Lauren Venegas @Fedyushina2016]

That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of another car and realize there's someone inside.