Mrs King-Byatt

Hampshire country hen exiled to Manchester. Professional Cassandra. Four meals from anarchy.

[Mrs King-Byatt @missicing]

My late step father did give a bit of useful advice to me and my sister. Don’t go to the Weybridge Disco.

[Mrs King-Byatt @missicing]

Dog’s 80s Tiffany crimp is all natural. Jealous.

[Sunday Sport @thesundaysport]

This reminds me of when Black Lace weighed in on Rhodesia

[Mrs King-Byatt @missicing]

Quite disconcerting being in a cab listening to the driver go through the details of his recent crash with his solicitor.

[Mrs King-Byatt @missicing]

Nothing beats watching a loose dog rip a squirrel to pieces on the litter strewn crease, to remind me of the joys of urban life.

[Hugo Rifkind @hugorifkind]

Just a small shout-out to each and every one of my fellow Jews out there who now find themselves working really hard not to spend their entire evening telling people on the internet to fuck off.

[Mrs King-Byatt @missicing]

At Blandings presumably

[Dick King-Smith HQ @DickKingSmith]

A pig photobombs a rural wedding in England, 1927.

[Mrs King-Byatt @missicing]

43 years. He was terrible at maths too.

[Mrs King-Byatt @missicing]

I like to think that even though he would have been 80 yesterday, and has been dead for 47 years, my Dad is enjoying watching Campbell getting his arse handed to him.

[Mrs King-Byatt @missicing]

If “I told you so” was a super power, you’d all be on your knees.

[Emo Philips @EmoPhilips]

and then they wonder why nobody goes to funerals anymore

[Mrs King-Byatt @missicing]

I dislike her so much I read every thing she writes. Twice.

[Jesse Singal @jessesingal]

This is a truly excellent and searing article and you know you can trust me on that because of my general dislike for Helen and her work

[Mrs King-Byatt @missicing]

It’s not nagging. You’re just forgetful.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

Mrs is a lot more attractive than me. When we go out men stare at her. Doesn't really bother me. What does bother me is the nagging I get every day. Sometimes I wish I was single for the peace but I'm shallow and she is beautiful. And I'd never get someone so pretty ever again.

[Mrs King-Byatt @missicing]

Should I be elected, my policies will include lifetime ban of the use of any wheeled vehicles for these people. And all the things they love to be driven over by David Bellamy or similar.

[Mrs King-Byatt @missicing]

Is it design genius or mishap that the “flag this for later” and “delete and forget all about it” icons are a nano-millimetre apart on Microsoft Outlook.
Jury’s out.

[Mrs King-Byatt @missicing]

Agent Mumski has completed her northern Christmas mission.

[Mrs King-Byatt @missicing]

Lunch of the decade, possibly lifetime. Stand up and take a bow https://t.co/JL7WwdN6HR
A gem, we’re lucky to have them. #Manchester

[Mrs King-Byatt @missicing]

@cottonmouthmcr Thanks! It’s a nice ride downhill from here. Heh x

[Mrs King-Byatt @missicing]

Nous somme 💯 Champagnes

[Mrs King-Byatt @missicing]

Go well Brian. I would say you were a shining emblem of a prelapsarian Northern Quarter. But you’d call me a pretentious c*nt, and I’d deserve it.
(Nice pic Stan)