Miss Leadingly Fat

Is ‘puberthirties’ a thing? Because I think that’s what’s wrong with me. BBQ sauce will always be my weapon of choice.

[Miss Leadingly Fat @MissMoomz]

I’m tweezing my nipple hairs and admiring them for ages years old.

[Miss Leadingly Fat @MissMoomz]

IDEGAS, I voluntarily watch QVC nowadays. This is 36, yo.

[Tommy Knоckers @TomE83_]

Sorry I can't come to your party, it's just I know I already want to go home.

[big boy online @idonotbleed]

damn bro that’s a poignant ass observation

[Miss Leadingly Fat @MissMoomz]

People always getting accused of playing footsie. But like how do you even do it, what are the rules. Is it like thumb wars or

[Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard]

If Chewbacca is socially aware does that mean he's staying Wook?

[Lazor @Lazor2828]

Hi, nice to mute you

[Miss Leadingly Fat @MissMoomz]

Friendly reminder to remember Dre.

[tate @50FirstTates]

me: *cuts fingernails*

the sticker i need to peel: u fool. u absolute imbecile

[Dead Pan Nick @Contwixt]

I am writing a kickass fanfic of Goodnight Moon called Laterz Craterz

[Miss Leadingly Fat @MissMoomz]

It’s ringardium leviOsa, not ringardium levioSA..

[Miss Leadingly Fat @MissMoomz]

A TED talk but just me on stage talking about why Three Men And A Little Lady was SO much better than Three Men And A Baby.

[Richard Dean @dad_on_my_feet]

We just discovered that our 4yo has been secretly peeing behind the recliner for long enough to warp our wood floor beneath one inch of carpet, and I’m just wondering which chapter in “What to Expect” covered this kind of assholery

[Dead Pan Nick @Contwixt]

A smart ass is known for its wise crack.

[Miss Leadingly Fat @MissMoomz]

WAP!
WAP!
WAP!
That’s a whack ass president.

Please vote my American buddies.

[Miss Leadingly Fat @MissMoomz]

My alarm clock is just a recording of Morgan Freeman saying “What fresh hell is in store for you today”

[mikey @berdlydefender]

michael jackson’s pronouns are he/he

[Laurazepam @andlikelaura]

[first day as a homicide detective]

me, on the floor: look im making blood angels

[Rachel @femaleredhead]

my plastic vampire fangs thay ON during thex