i once ghosted a guy in my head before he ever ghosted me. we were talking every day. good morning texts. inside jokes. the whole âthis could be somethingâ energy. then one week he got busy. replies got slower. not dry. just⊠delayed.
my brain said: here it comes.
so instead of asking, i matched the energy. took longer to reply. stopped double texting. acted unbothered. told my friends âiâm not even that into him anyway.â (lie.)
a few days later he sends, âdid i do something? youâve been distant.â
turns out his mom had been in the hospital. he didnât want to dump it on me because he thought we were still âcasual.â meanwhile i was rehearsing my âmen ainât sh*tâ monologue over something that wasnât about me at all.
the worst part? i almost sabotaged something gentle because i was trying to beat him to the punch.
sometimes my trust issues donât look like suspicion.
they look like self-defense⊠activated too early.
Average female career pivot: 39
Average female entrepreneur starts: 42
Average female millionaire: 49
Womenâs creative peak: 45â55
Youâre not behind.
Youâre just getting started.
âThe meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.â
â Alan Watts
If you ever catch me posting contradictory statements, just ignore it because Iâm simply exercising my god given right to be a woman of duality who is free from a linear mindset.
You're allowed to do creative stuff even if you don't think you're good at them. Do it because it moves something stuck inside you. Because creativity isnât about being impressive, itâs about being expressive. Create badly. Create awkwardly. Thatâs not failure, thatâs freedom.