DMAC15310

Always learn from the mistakes of others who take your advice.

[DMAC15310 @mixedNUTgallery]

@WilliamAder

[DMAC15310 @mixedNUTgallery]

People be like “Yo Adrian! I got us a Stanley!”

[DMAC15310 @mixedNUTgallery]

If the early bird got the coffee then I’d be out there fighting the early bird.

[DMAC15310 @mixedNUTgallery]

Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is two things. Skinny jeans and for them to fit.

[DMAC15310 @mixedNUTgallery]

Some people be like “View from my window”

[DMAC15310 @mixedNUTgallery]

@NoContextHumans C. They’re the only one where ripples in the water may be being caused by forward motion of the raft and not the body. Also, ain’t no way anyone’s dropping their iPad after what they paid for it even in death thanks to Rigor Mortis.

[DMAC15310 @mixedNUTgallery]

I like to imagine that I’m on the Amazing Race every night as I climb the stairs to my bed and Survivor every morning as I go down them to get ready for work. So far there’s been no express pass or immunity idol. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[DMAC15310 @mixedNUTgallery]

@JillianMHurley @buddycat100 @colefarrell

[DMAC15310 @mixedNUTgallery]

@JillianMHurley @buddycat100 @colefarrell We got ours at https://t.co/OiTqD42vxd the trees are so well made and easy to put together! Our cats love them most!

[DMAC15310 @mixedNUTgallery]

@McDonalds is it too much to ask for a cheeseburger in the morning with my favorite coffee? Please consider adding it to the breakfast menu.

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

Called in, "This one is a doozy!" this morning.

[DMAC15310 @mixedNUTgallery]

Halloween Pro Tip for 2024: Dress up and go trick-or-treating early just long enough to get candy for about 3 kids. Go home wait for trick-or-treaters. Enjoy giving out free candy.

You’re welcome! 😏

[Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

I can't wait for tomorrow that's when I steal candy from babies

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

I hope the trick-or-treaters like russet potatoes.

[DMAC15310 @mixedNUTgallery]

@WilliamAder 🤣🙌

[DMAC15310 @mixedNUTgallery]

Everyone else’s mom: “You’re not fat you’re just “big boned”.

My mom: “I didn’t know you had bones in your stomach.”

[DMAC15310 @mixedNUTgallery]

Reason to be glad I’m not a celebrity…

Red-Carpet Reporter: Who are you wearing?
Me: One Size Fits Most.

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

I need a new Halloween party to attend this year, because I don't think "Speedo-Man" is getting a return invitation.

[DMAC15310 @mixedNUTgallery]

@WilliamAder 🤣🙌 Are you sure Speedo-Man was invited to the 1st party?

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

I put up the tree this morning.