Michael Kramer

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@gruevy Yours go toot, my go bang, we are not the same!

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@Kingpossible6 @OkimMonica3936 Green Lantern: Beware My Power

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

It wasn't cringe because it was women, it was cringe because it wasn't earned. Thor-Cap-Ironman forming up after almost a decade of movies fighting side by side: epic. Putting a bunch of women together in a scene who've never met, never mind fought together seems forced because it was.

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@turbexaero_ @commandante_ https://t.co/H2BpUj6Tsc

[Eric Daugherty @EricLDaugh]

🚨 JUST IN: This HERO is being praised nationwide after he got out to fire his gun at the active shooter in Twin Falls, Idaho, catching the criminal OFF GUARD and likely saving lives

FEARLESS PATRIOT.

That American deserves a medal! 👏🏻🇺🇸

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@Playteaux1 Fixed it for you

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@RelenaNS @_brinxinx Service is a love language, people express themselves in different ways.

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@Irishreds2 @FROMonMGM They'll have to sacrifice Ethan to break the cycle.

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@occhirossineri @DiscussingFish

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@NickJFreitas

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@philthatremains No Lies just half truths apparently

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@RapidResponse47

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@FenixAmmunition 680 pounds

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@Asmongold @libsoftiktok I’m never leaving this place

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

The company hired me to lead their "Agile Transformation."
I don't know what Agile means.
Nobody does.
That's why it works.

I make $425,000 a year.
To move sticky notes.
From left to right.
On a board.
The board is digital now.
The sticky notes cost $80,000 in Jira licenses.
Progress.

Day one, I said "we need to break down silos."
Everyone nodded.
Silos are bad.
I don't know why.
But destroying them is a career.
My career.

I introduced "squads."
Squads are teams.
But disrupted.
We disrupted the teams into teams.
Different names.
Same people.
Same problems.
But Agile problems now.
Agile problems are strategic.

A senior engineer asked what we're actually changing.
I said, "The mindset."
He asked what that means.
I said, "It's a journey."
He asked where we're going.
I said, "Toward agility."
He asked what agility means.
I pointed at the sticky notes.
They were moving left to right.
That's velocity.
We have velocity now.

The VP of Engineering said two-week sprints don't fit their work.
I said, "That's waterfall thinking."
Waterfall is bad.
Like silos.
I don't know what waterfall is.
But I know it's bad.
She stopped talking.
Waterfall accusations end conversations.

We had a retrospective.
In the retro, we discussed what went wrong.
Everything went wrong.
We put it on sticky notes.
Then we moved the sticky notes.
Into a column called "Parking Lot."
The Parking Lot is where problems go to die.
It's full.
We don't look at it.
That's agile.

Velocity is up 40%.
I defined velocity.
I also defined the points.
I also defined the stories.
We're crushing it.
At the things I made up.
To measure.
Ourselves.

The CEO asked for ROI.
I showed a chart.
The chart went up.
Charts should go up.
This one did.
I didn't label the Y-axis.
Nobody asked.
Leadership is confidence.

We do standups now.
Every day.
We stand.
For 45 minutes.
Standing is agile.
Sitting is waterfall.
My legs hurt.
But we're transforming.

The transformation is now "Phase 3."
Phase 1 was assessment.
Phase 2 was implementation.
Phase 3 is "continuous improvement."
Continuous means forever.
Forever means job security.
I'm very secure.

My contract was extended.
Three more years.
For "cultural impact."
The culture is confused.
But impacted.

Agile transformation isn't about being agile.
It's about transforming.
Continuously.
Toward more transformation.
The destination is the journey.
The journey is billable.

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@SenRandPaul

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@49ersSportsTalk I'm going to have to give them a D for last night's performance. I'd give them a C but that would be passing and I'm afraid that would get intercepted.

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@DonaldTunp75739 What kind of purge settings do you use to do that with the face?

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@WallStreetApes Weaponization of our hospitality and liberty.

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@FBGreatMoments There's hope for Jake Moody yet.

[Michael Kramer @mjkramer54]

@roll20app Can we please get a way to manage our hit dice outside of the short rest interface?