average man on campus

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

Clocked a new personal best with the push mower today. 44 minutes to mow, trim and clean up. All done while the baby stayed down for nap time. I earned this 10am Sunday beer. #dadstats

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

@DK_Assist You guys are trash. I have an issue with you once a week. Withdrew my winnings, will place my free play and be done for good. SCAM CENTRAL! @DK_Assist this was never mentioned!

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

Prices have gotten way to high! $50 in groceries just for me to eat dinner tonight!

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

So pretty soon I will have a Tesla robot doing all of my housework, go get in my self driving tesla car, to go to a Tesla spaceship that takes me to mars for the day

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

As a @Browns fan, this NFL season could not have started off any worse… brutal loss to the Bengals and one pointed on an all noon games parlay.

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

@EricLDaugh Why is Mr. Garrison yelling at RFK Jr

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

@InternetH0F Guy ripped ass at 15 seconds and tried to hide it with a cough. Just let it rip with the boys my guy

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

I wasnt around the last time it happened. Do we still show up to work the next day if a World War starts or a nuke is dropped?

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

One of my talents in leaving the perfect amount of cheese for the last stick in those weird snack packs. Here are my last two bites for proof.

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

@lilsamsquanch66 Bot lobby

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

No better way to start the college football season. 0-2 on bets but we got a Dirty Shirley and a cigar so all is well in the world.

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

@ForePlayPod Did this same thing at a course I worked at and the cart hit a Lexus during our member guest. Not a fun convo up on the range after that

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

@amuse Ll

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

How do I tell my boss that twitter convinced me the world was going to end during the eclipse and because of that I have not done any work for the last two weeks?

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

Commando in the gym… leaving PRINTS on these machines

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

@JeffDLowe This is narcissism right?

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

I was able to make a rainbow with a pot of gold at the end

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

Got bored at work so I threw in 24 mg of zyns and now I can’t see my computer screen and the whole office is spinning. Thank god for zyn

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

Gym membership during Trump: $9.99

Gym membership during Biden: $14.99

Making it more expensive just to get fucking swole? Inflation has gone too far now

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

I am throwing the mortgage on the ravens based on the percentage color being more purple

[average man on campus @mllewe_02]

So this shit is about to be ravens vs 49s and we are all gonna act like this isn’t rigged still?