Mohammed Loubani

Former ER doc. Now building health-tech @avarosemr

[Brandon Stanton @humansofny]

Every system starts to fail.

[Ava @noampomsky]

Some context: my friend raved about this book a couple of years ago but I just skimmed it since I've never identified as codependent and a lot of the stories in the book are about the spouses of alcoholics, which isn't personally relevant. But I read it again recently and realized that the book is actually about letting go of the need for control. Many of us try to help our friends and family, without realizing that the frame of "they need my care/support" is actually a form of establishing control. We believe that people need us, that they'll go down the wrong path without us and make the wrong choices in work/relationships/life, but what happens is that while you're trying to control the other person through supporting them you become controlled by their behavior.

If you've ever had the experience of being extremely frustrated at a friend, partner or family member because they asked for your advice and you gave it, only for them to ignore it, this book is relevant to you. (From what I can tell, that's a pretty universal experience.) In it, Melody Beattie writes, "The surest way to make ourselves crazy is to get involved in other people’s business, and the quickest way to become sane and happy is to tend to our own affairs." Despite our best efforts, we have extremely limited ability to influence other people's choices. People are free to neglect their bodies, engage in destructive behavior, get in or stay in toxic relationships, abuse substances, etc. This might feel unbearable if you love them, but if you get overly attached to the idea that *they need you in order to stop,* you've trapped yourself in a situation where you have no real leverage. As in: no matter what you try, how hard you try, how pragmatic, useful, wise, supportive you are, *it's not ultimately your life.* Most of us are better served by, well, actually living our lives, instead of trying to solve someone else's.

Through extreme effort we may able to be able to temporarily modify someone's behavior, but the change will not last because real change only comes when someone grapples with the consequences of their situation and makes the decision to live differently. You cannot force someone to have a revelation, not matter how badly you might want to. Though people might tell us they want or need our advice or support, this generally just gets us trapped in the drama triangle.

There is a difference between *actually helping someone*, and *assuming the role of the rescuer because we believe it's what's required of us." Caretaking is often just a form of enabling. Another great quote from the book: "At the time we rescue or caretake, we may experience one or more of the following feelings: discomfort and awkwardness about the other person’s dilemma; urgency to do something; pity; guilt; saintliness; anxiety; extreme responsibility for that person or problem; fear; a sense of being forced or compelled to do something; mild or severe reluctance to do anything; more competency than the person we are “helping”; or occasional resentment at being put in this position. We also think the person we are taking care of is helpless and unable to do what we are doing for them. We feel needed temporarily.

I am not referring to acts of love, kindness, compassion, and true helping—situations where our assistance is legitimately wanted and needed and we want to give that assistance. These acts are the good stuff of life. Rescuing and caretaking aren’t."

The tl;dr of it all is that in order to actually change, people generally need to reckon with their sense of autonomy and responsibility. When we shield people from consequences, they never learn how to make better choices.

[Good Shepherd Collective @Shepherds4Good]

Also found out Mads passed away. He was an ISM activist in the early 2010s in the Old City of Hebron. He’d be the type of guy that would be happy to go out at 3am during a settler attack, or spend his last 10 shekels to get the kids some candy. He was one of the good ones.

[Dr. Sohail Gandhi, MD @drmsgandhi]

When I was President, the staff (who are by nature very conservative) tried to stop an ad with a physician because she was wearing a necklace with a Cross on it. I managed to end that nonsense. Pity the current political leaders of the OMA won’t stop this stuff.

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

Our daughter, Rachel Corrie, was killed in 2003 in Gaza, while trying to protect a Palestinian home facing illegal destruction by the Israeli military. She was 23 years old. The massive, armored Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer that crushed her was operated by two Israeli soldiers and manufactured in the United States. It was the same type of militarized bulldozer that US presidents from George W. Bush through to Donald Trump have delivered to Israel.
Today, as the destruction of Palestinian homes has only become more commonplace, not to mention the horror of Israel’s genocide, Senator Bernie Sanders will force a vote in the Senate to try to end this cycle of death by banning the transfer of D-9 bulldozers to Israel. We hope he will not take this stand alone.
No policy can bring back those taken from us by these actions—children and other loved ones. But the Senate now has an opportunity to honor the memories of our daughter, other Americans, and thousands of Palestinian civilians killed, and to show that their deaths, and all the destruction, will no longer be condoned and funded. We hope those elected to represent us, the American people, understand the message that voting to block these D-9 bulldozers will send. This will not be a symbolic gesture, but a concrete step toward the protection of human life.

https://t.co/KvwjbIsMDX

[Mohammed Loubani @mmloub]

The real crime here isn't the murder of a 16 year-old boy - starved to death in Israeli detention. It's that an Israeli judge decided his killers would never face justice because he was a Palestinian

[Haaretz.com @haaretzcom]

Judge: Palestinian minor who died in Israeli prison was 'likely starved,' but case closed
https://t.co/0bZoodmHnY

[Ryan Fournier @RyanAFournier]

ABSOLUTE HEROES.

Pilot Antoine Forest and First Officer Mackenzie Gunther tragically lost their lives in Sunday’s horrific LaGuardia crash, but they made the ultimate sacrifice and saved EVERY SINGLE passenger on board. Their Air Canada flight collided with a firetruck, but because of their incredible bravery, everyone else walked away.

Survivor Rebecca Liquori said it best: she is “forever indebted” to them.

God bless these two heroes and their families. This is what true bravery looks like! 🙏

[Robleh @robjama]

Eid Mubarak friends 🌙🕊️ and special prayers for those being oppressed all over the world.

[Robleh @robjama]

update: that community note was so bad they removed it. good feature indeed

[Fahd Ananta @fahdananta]

Heartbreaking, gave me chills. Find God.

[Mohammed Loubani @mmloub]

If the Israeli Army returned his body, an autopsy would have most likely shown that a boy who lay bleeding for 45 minutes had treatable injuries. That he could have been saved.

Instead, the Soldiers who murdered Jad created a cordon around him for 45 minutes and stopped ambulances from reaching him until they made sure he was dead

[Mohammed Loubani @mmloub]

Not a rogue Israel soldier, an entire unit. They were all complicit in Jad's murder. He was 14 years old.

The Israeli Army command knows exactly what they did, which is why they refuse to return Jad's body

When Palestinians talk about the brutality of occupation, about the Israeli Army's campaign to erase them, this is what they mean

https://t.co/MqlwofA7FN

[Richie Assaly @rdassaly]

Over the past couple years, a common refrain among Canadian authors who didn't support the Giller Prize boycott was that the campaign had a point, but was unlikely to 'make a difference.'

Scotiabank had a $368-million (US) stake in Elbit at the end of 2022. Now it's $0.