fuck ted cruz

Former juror

[fuck ted cruz @mmmazzy]

Friendly reminder that not paying attention to politics or the news is a privilege

[bravo by betches @bravobybetches]

I simply fell off my chair

[NYTPitchbot @DougJBalloon]

My kids have measles, I lost my job, and a parasite that the CDC no longer monitors has given me explosive diarrhea. But at least now there’s no plaques honoring Black scientists at the Smithsonian.

[ɴ.🫧 @luvblessingz]

when i remove my phone from DND and find out no one actually disturbed me

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

I think women should decide what to do with Mitch McConnell's body since he decided what to do with theirs.

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

I once asked a rival dad (who I knew asked for his steak medium well) if he knew who the medium well steak was for, in front of a bunch of people around the grill.

[mommy @hisfavstepdad]

why don’t men ever get drunk and call you

[Keegs @lordesghoul]

There’s a chicago-wide conspiracy to walk slow in front of me

[fuck ted cruz @mmmazzy]

@Lilmades Thank u!! I hate the hell

[ana @buteradebility]

AMO cuando las artistas femeninas no tienen miedo de quedar como una desquiciadas escribiendo que esperan que les pase algo malo para ver cómo reacciona él porque es lo que toda chica piensa pero no lo cuenta

[Caroline @carolinekwan]

Haley Williams stays correct per usual

[bunny sanders @whatbunnysaid]

That was the best fucking start of a 3 part reunion like hell yea this actually deserves 3 parts. Go buy Loverboy idk that was great lmao #SummerHouse

[kyle @kgeich]

They gotta get this playing in the sphere

[taylor @wishescametrue]

"she did the best she could until she couldn't" is one of the most beautifully empathetic sentences I've heard about suicide

[Sly 🔎 @ykslyy]

A.I. could never create a more watchable video than this

[hunter @3gpmh]

forgive me karl marx for i have bought

[ettingermentum @ettingermentum]

I’ve had the same opinion about him since I graduated middle school but that’s cool I guess

[alex @alex_abads]

when a customer puts casino butter directly on the stone https://t.co/DiEdrVyFFf