ness

[ness @mnness]

@McDonalds you have a fan who will never waver in her loyalty.

[ness @mnness]

@McDonalds clearly this one was not impressed with us trying to sneak other fries and cheeseburgers on her.

[ness @mnness]

@AskTarget what do you think an acceptable response is to grabbing a bottle of cleaner off the shelf, it’s cracked and it ruining favorite Underarmour shirt?

[ness @mnness]

@Lin_Manuel is there any official #HamiltonPuertoRico shirts like this to buy that benefit the island? I don’t want to support a knock off. https://t.co/uIXlOlyqVz

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

Our statement on the passing of Senator John McCain:

[ness @mnness]

EXACTLY. Minnesota living. https://t.co/XsLS4P59xH

[Nick Swardson @NickSwardson]

My childhood in Minnesota. High school. Beer, Schnapps, bad weed, Marb Reds and a dangerously large bonfire that could easily burn down the city but fuck it throw a couch in it and Rick you jump through it.

[ness @mnness]

@NissanUSA I’m looking in the manual but can’t find anything in there about the slow cooker feature on my Murano? I think it’s a standard add-on with the black leather upgrade? Can I downgrade? #minnesotasummer

[ness @mnness]

You know there’s one store that is absolutely gonna clean up if the zombie apocalypse ever happens.... you need a gun, some running shoes, food for yourself, your horse, and everything else to rebuild society.... #fleetfarm

[ness @mnness]

So I’ve already embraced my impending spinsterhood and inevitable appearance on a future episode of Hoarders surrounded by cats....I’ll add an adorable trash panda! Rescue him and he can live with me. #mprracoon

[ness @mnness]

If you’re making 20k a month working from home, why is your advertising on the corner written on a piece of cardboard in Sharpie? #RealEstate #cantevenaffordaprinter

[ness @mnness]

The National Sports Center Soccer Complex is the 10th circle even Dante couldn’t fathom.

[ness @mnness]

Simultaneously mourning the 80’s and the whole cake she just ate. #PeriodProblems

[ness @mnness]

@thelittleidiot (In the song "Flower")

[ness @mnness]

@thelittleidiot can you please settle a question? Is it "green sally" or "bring sally"? Inquiring minds need to know.

[Marc Anthony @MarcAnthony]

Mr. President shut the fuck up about NFL. Do something about our people in need in #PuertoRico. We are American citizens too.

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

"No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin or his background or his religion..."

[The Ellen Show @TheEllenShow]

These firefighters are napping for the first time after 36 straight hours of rescuing the people and animals of Tennessee. They’re my heroes

[ness @mnness]

@NissanUSA Here we are a month later. Can I have my Rogue back? Very disappointed now. :(

[Brian Zepp @ZeppRadio]

Why am I writing in Vanilla Ice for President?
1. He stops
2. He collaborates
3. He listens
4. If there's a problem, yo, he'll solve it