The moaning MILF

The day to day rants of having a 4 year old Son who's absolutely nuts. Plus, Im British. Moaning is what I do best ;)

[Shawn Joseph Niles @Beer4AGoodTime]

Anything you can do, I can do.....later.
I can do anything... but I'd rather let you.

[Víkrám @gvicks]

It's a man's job to respect women, but its a woman's Job to give him something to respect.

[Suzietine_Kryze @Suzietine_Kryze]

Well.....that's the last time I blow a Unicorn for crack

[Mishti @Soniya_Says]

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it isn’t open...

[not~ur~Bhaiya @amitj002]

Me: is it weird to talk to yourself..!!?? 

Me: no.

[Rock @TheMichaelRock]

Make-up sex is all fun and games until she shoves an eyeliner pencil up your ass.

[GrossHopper @AGStr8upNinja]

NO GRANDMA!
BUY YOUR OWN MARIJUANA!

[NotaRedAngel @countrybredred]

There's nothing like a good smack on the ass from the right person

[Geeza. #Brexit #FreeTommyRobinson @Geezajay2013]

Shame On You

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

Hey baby, put on your good pajamas, we're going to Walmart!

[Reverend Scott @Reverend_Scott]

Easier than being a parent:

1. Eating your own face.
2. Teaching tricks to a cat.
3. Flossing a shark's teeth.
4. Resurrecting the dead.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

When I think I’m the worst dad in the world, I remind myself that at least my daughter isn’t Miley Cyrus. Then I feel way better.

[kyle @KyyleWilson]

I moan at my mum for having no food in the house and when there is food I moan at my mum because theres too much food and I cant stop eating

[Mike™ @StonewallSieve]

If you're in college you're too young to be a Milf...