Erin Molzner

I've been known to make a person or two laugh once | I make nacho cheese

[Erin Molzner @molznere]

Can someone please make a dating app specifically for people who don't have and don't want kids? It'd really help narrow things down for me. Thanks

[Erin Molzner @molznere]

My teen emo dreams are coming true! Seeing @newfoundglory tonight!

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

Just Released

Deepest-ever view of the cosmos from @NASAWebb. The spiked objects are local stars in our own Galaxy. ignore them. Everything else is an entire galaxy. Many distort into arcs, revealing spacetime curvature from the gravity of a galaxy cluster in the image's center.

[Erin Molzner @molznere]

Conspiracy theory: Elon Musk and Nick Cannon are creating mass amounts of children that will then be taken to Mars to populate the planet, thus creating their own gaggle of hip hop engineers who will participate in an intergalactic song competition to please the cromulons

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Flatulence Earther

[Erin Molzner @molznere]

The amount of air added to ice cream during production should be required on the label

[Danny DeVito @DannyDeVito]

Supreme Court my ass

[Erin Molzner @molznere]

I'm about 98.62% positive that independent, single, relationship seeking, men do not exist. This is the one time I'd love to be proven wrong 😂

[Erin Molzner @molznere]

So why am i still depressed...

[Erin Molzner @molznere]

A dude must have created 'read receipts' on text messages. It's a whole other mind game they've been playing on us all these years.

[Erin Molzner @molznere]

Use taco meat to make a breakfast burrito. It will change. Your. Life. #burrito #breakfast

[Erin Molzner @molznere]

Palm Springs on Hulu is hilarious and incredible. I will always be a sucker for an Andy Samberg flick 🥰. #PalmSpringsMovie

[Parks and Recreation @parksandrec]

Your date be like "I know a spot" and take you to the pit.

[Erin Molzner @molznere]

It has come to my attention that there are humans, adult humans, in this world that do not know where a pickle comes from... Um, I'm sorry, did you think they were harvested like that in the wild??

[Erin Molzner @molznere]

30, single, and quarantined. Guess I should start prepping myself to live out the rest of my life like this. #Quarantine #single #foreveralone

[Erin Molzner @molznere]

Red Vines > Twizzlers. Fight me

[Erin Molzner @molznere]

People who don't walk the correct way (against traffic) on the street really rustle my jimmies. #dopeoolenotteachthis #jimmiesfordays

[Erin Molzner @molznere]

Is eating an orange in front of a glass of orange juice considered traumatizing? If so, my oranges may need to see a therapist soon...

[Erin Molzner @molznere]

Went "into the world" today and honestly would rather spend the rest of 2020 in self isolation

[Erin Molzner @molznere]

Is there a way to remove all mother's day ads/content from all media options or just my life in general? #askingforafriend #jkthatfriendisme