Ashley O’Hara

Maybe I'm funny or maybe I'm just that tired.

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

So I asked him to organize Abbott's books #iswearimabook #puglife #momlife #terriblehelper

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

@VFSGlobal You guys seriously need contact numbers so the company can ACTUALLY resolve problems. Please

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

@VFSGlobal I’ve been having so many problems with this and you can’t even locate where to upload the documents. It has also messed up my email address so I can’t access one of my applications. I’ve already sent an email, but received only a stock reply and my account is still messed up.

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

Anyone else glad that it was just a text alert instead of a dick pic? #nationalalert #grabbedbythecellphone #hesadouche #fucktrump

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

At least you’ll never end up with a tired arm from stroking their ego. #lazy #wordporn #cantbebothered #ego #verbalwordplay #almostfunny #itrybadly

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

@gdavies loved #youmagnificentbeast and your face. The middle made need a little work. #iloveaboyfrombristol #lovetheenglish #netflix #youreadorable

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

@ThatKevinSmith how does it feel going from a #fat man in an over to to just a #man in an overcoat? #snoochybootches #slimsilentbob #awesomejob #gladyoudidntdie

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

@DaveOFox13 The suits you wear make the bad weather terrible. Who picks them for you? #lovetheties #florida #humidity #ofcourseitsraining

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

@realDonaldTrump please stop being such a useless douche #nogolf #flintmichigan #puertorico #guncontrol #fuckthoughtsandprayers

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

@ThatKevinSmith Thank you for making the dick and fart joke romantic comedies that people need. You will always be my favorite director and I’m so glad that you’re getting healthy because I’m going to need more shit to watch. Also, I love fat men in overcoats.

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

@normmacdonald you are one of the funniest comedians I know. I’ve probably watched Dirty Work more than is recommended.

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

@StephenKing thank you so much for your stories. You made a scary childhood slightly more bearable.

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

Sorry @GordonRamsay, but #petercapaldi had a cooler tank entrance #HellsKitchen #DrWho #gottalovescots

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

Ira gets his dick sniffed more than a guy taking a #liedetectortest on the #MauryShow 😂 #dogswillbedogs #poorIra

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

I entered for a chance to win a trip for 2 to @NYCWFF through @people! You can enter too! https://t.co/jVD2yhoqTC

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

@BrightHouseCare I'm good. Just a little surprised.

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

So I actually got decent service from @BrightHouseNow today. Is that another sign of the apocalypse? #atleastihaveinternetnow #almostgood

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

The last time I saw someone cook with hot rocks, they were stuffing them in a sheep carcass #CutthroatKitchen #probablynotdessert

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

Thanks @BenFolds for the entertainment while I was waiting to get a milkshake at @sonicdrivein #phoneinapool #alwaysafan #mymilkshake

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

Just had to tell my son not to put his @eggo waffle in his butt. Ah the joys of motherhood #momlife #toddlerlife #buttbreakfast #eatyourfood

[Ashley O’Hara @momalwayscooks]

Just had to run into the rain in my underpants to rescue one of my tomato plants thanks #TSColin #floridaproblems #almostnakedgardening