Thinking about the time I got lost inside the duvet cover while trying to match up the corners and my cats all thought I was playing a game and started beating the sh*t out of me.
[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you, [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you, [looking at myself] it's over.
2026 and people still can’t wrap their heads around the fact that women can be fat and beautiful at the same time. It’s ok to admit you are attracted to a beautiful fat woman.
I wasn't too worried about hantavirus until this morning when I heard the director general of the WHO say "our best immunity is solidarity"
That's the one thing we don't have my guy