Morgan Jones

[Morgan Jones @morganejones]

I'm in my apartment watching Netflix alone and I sneezed and since nobody is around i said "bless me" and smiled as I ate another bagel bite.

[Morgan Jones @morganejones]

@danbanbam I am Morgan, patron saint of the most important things.

[taylor garron @taylorgarron]

woman on the train just clutched her whole foods baguette so tightly when i sat down next to her you’d think i was jean valjean

[Adam Lane Smith | The Attachment Specialist @AdamLaneSmith]

My wife and I never baby talk to our kids. We use full sentences and a wide vocabulary including complex words.

My son is 3 and can carry a full conversation. Adults at family gatherings are shocked at his social aptitude. My daughter isn’t even 2 and she uses 4-syllable words.

[jess is a silly little goose @yikejess]

Friend: WHY is that class two hours long
Me: They need us to know what hell feels like so we recognize it when we get there
@HeardAtBYU

[Morgan Jones @morganejones]

@Brelany00 And that you are, my friend. Albert would be proud.

[Morgan Jones @morganejones]

Absolute genius.

[Bren @Brelany00]

The cosmetic surgeon that does the surgery for this could have the slogan "making wheels out of heels"

[Daniel @danbanbam]

WW3 Motivation!

[Morgan Jones @morganejones]

@Brelany00 Gosh diggity dang nabbit

[Morgan Jones @morganejones]

@Thorstrousers Thanks for the tip

[Morgan Jones @morganejones]

- free samples at costco

[Drexus @DrexelGuzy]

We are slaves to anything we can’t resist:
- Negative thoughts
- Victim mindset
- Comfort
- Ease
- Sugar
- Soda
- Screens
- Self-righteousness
- Status signaling
- Sports
- Sleep
- Sex
- Praise
- Pot
- Porn
- Profanity
- Attention
- Alcohol
- Arguing
- Anger
- Apathy

[Morgan Jones @morganejones]

I just want a man to play with my hair 😍😭 i guess you could call me a daddy's girl

[MM💕 @built2xprosper]

Daddy & Daughter 🥺😍❤️✨

[jp @excesstential]

When i was a child, i saw a bee get stuck in a spider’s web. I took a stick and cut the bee free. The bee immediately flew up to my neck, stung me, and flew away. Moral of the story is don’t help anyone. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

[Kevín @KevOnStage]

Kids be lying https://t.co/GNG2PeRj9D

[April @ReignOfApril]

When I tell you that tears are running down my face just like this brotha has. Watch until the end.

[Ricky Gervais @rickygervais]

Twitter is like being able to read every toilet wall in the world.

[The Legend of Chuck Diezel  @Clutch_Johnson]

@kaludiasays Can people just watch a movie to watch a movie anymore?

[Morgan Jones @morganejones]

@danbanbam Now go put on some FLIPPING deodorant and live your BEST life like the absolute QWEEN you are!

Hoe.

[Shaylee Photography @ShayleePhoto]

A speaker in church made a great analogy.
He runs early in the mornings when it’s still dark and wears a headlamp. One morning his headlamp batteries were low, he figured he’d be fine.
Soon his light was completely out but he was able to run from street lamp to street lamp.

[Morgan Jones @morganejones]

@Brelany00 It truly is a wonderful time to be alive

[Morgan Jones @morganejones]

I'm in my apartment watching Netflix alone and I sneezed and since nobody is around i said "bless me" and smiled as I ate another bagel bite.