Morgan Beard

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

My toxic trait is that I justify getting ✨starbs✨ by claiming that it makes me more productive.

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

Has anyone else watched their parents come back from deployment in the Middle East and them just not be okay/not be adjusted to normal life for a couple of months? #MilitaryAppreciationMonth We don’t always see their internal scars 💔

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

I need to download instacart so the next time I’m really sad I don’t have to walk through the grocery store holding back tears. Sad girl summer coming soon.

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

I have never been happier to take Christmas decorations down. Last year was overwhelming and I’m ready to start off the new year.

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

@carcavallaro Agreed. I had a MINOR surgery one time and I didn’t even need ibuprofen afterwards and the surgeon tried to offer me Percocet… I refused. She seemed proud that I said no… like, just don’t offer them!! Dr.s like that are the problem.

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

One of my favorite things about the week before @MoonriseFest is that everyone who will be in attendance is now a certified meteorologist 😂

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

My boyfriend fell asleep on the couch last night while watching tv… with the lights on… while sitting entirely straight up… he is a different type of human 😂

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

@alyzard_ Legging with pockets are an absolute game changer. I can’t believe I have worn leggings without pockets for so long.

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

When someone who I am not friends with (haven’t been for over a year) tries to come back into my life with “I’m sorry”… you had all of this time to make things right, don’t start now because I’m already over it.

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

I somehow managed to shatter my phone screen even with a screen protector and phone case on 🫠 @Apple please just take my money now 🥲

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

@alissa_violetc I love this 😂

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

@alissa_violetc When you say near, what is the mile radius limit? I want to test this theory 😂

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

My brain: don’t…

Me: “My money don’t jiggle jiggle, it folds”

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

Went to an IFB church in pants this morning. Just in case you were wondering, I did not burst into flames and no, I do not sell my body for sex as a living.

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

@alyzard_ There are literally thousands of other things that are an issue and they’re choosing to focus on this??? Makes no sense to me.

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

Okay… but like why aren’t we focusing on making birth control more accessible/affordable???

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

Not me creating an IT service ticket for something that was just unplugged 😭🙃 is this week over yet??

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

Nothing worse than a man who thinks you are flirting with them when in reality you are just being nice 🙃 get a grip sir and stop being a self-absorbed asshat.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

@alyzard_ Bite your tongue

[Morgan Beard @morgue_609]

Definitely came home from work today and took a two hour nap… I guess we will try to be productive tomorrow 🤷🏼‍♀️