Zachary Morgan

Aspiring writer, part time buffoon, he/him

[Zachary Morgan @morzach01]

I just found a penny in my sock and people say miracles aren't real smh

[Zachary Morgan @morzach01]

You do actually need the grip strength of a real rock climber to open a cliff bar package they are not messing around

[Zachary Morgan @morzach01]

When you’re doing a really good stretch and then you fart a little bit that shit is so healing

[Zachary Morgan @morzach01]

@miathebanditt Bob the Builder fs

[Zachary Morgan @morzach01]

This is the funniest shit I have ever seen

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

have been sitting in target for 15 minutes trying to decipher this like it’s the rosetta stone. what do you mean. what the fuck are you talking about

[Zachary Morgan @morzach01]

Asking your weed dealer if they price match

[Zachary Morgan @morzach01]

@codyko is either a glitch or his name isn’t actually Cody

[Stavros Halkias @stavvybaby]

Never met a 34 year old Cody. Working on a theory that every Cody gets executed after 7th grade

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

bro what is going on at twitter

[Blue Ivy’s Sunglasses @KingLouie8th]

If anyone needs a little motivation today, call [phone].

It’s a school project where kindergarteners give you a pep talk.

It’s so cute 🥹😅. And it’s automated!

[Dr. Nicole LePera @Theholisticpsyc]

Trauma becomes stored within the body in: the way we breathe, make eye contact, our posture, our coping mechanisms, and our habitual emotional responses.

Note: these are unconscious. We don’t think about these things— they’re instinctual.

[phelan • ᜉᜒᜌ᜔ᜎᜈ᜔ 🏳️‍🌈 @signingmango]

For those of you with ADHD and suffer from procrastination because things seem overwhelming, I want to assure you that the student loan debt relief application is very simple. You need your name, DOB, SSN, phone number and email. That’s basically it. Takes you a minute at most.

[The Problem With Jon Stewart @TheProblem]

Jon interviewed Leslie Rutledge, Arkansas Attorney General, about why her state banned gender-affirming care for minors - ignoring the guidelines of major medical organizations and taking the decision out of parents’ hands. Watch the full interview on @AppleTVPlus

[Zachary Morgan @morzach01]

Sorry this DayQuil got me busted

[Zachary Morgan @morzach01]

My immune system said clean up in IL-6

[Zachary Morgan @morzach01]

@NickAdamsinUSA teach me your ways

[Zachary Morgan @morzach01]

This is unironic I can’t

[Nick Adams @NickAdamsinUSA]

I will NEVER apologize for being a wildly successful alpha male.

[JaydenvdH @JaydenvdHeck]

YOU'RE TELLING ME AMERICANS DON'T KNOW WHAT COUNTRY THIS IS???!????!!??!!??

[Zachary Morgan @morzach01]

@theonlyned This story needs to be on paper

[Jasmine 🌌🔭 @astro_jaz]

Tomorrow, an incredibly rare, once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event is happening! Jupiter will be its closest to Earth since 1963! Along with opposition, it’ll be SO bright, you’ll be able to see its bands and some moons just with binoculars!
This won’t happen again until 2129!

[Adrian @InfoSecAdrian]

@SenRickScott Every accusation is a confession! Republicans want to control:
-Abortion
-Birth control
-Website content
-What books are allowed in school
-Your child's religion
-How you dress
-Who you marry
-What you do in bed
-Your business's speech
-Your ability to negotiate your salary