ned

crazy running into you here, right

[ned @theonlyned]

@slater57649 Is this ai or what let me know

[ned @theonlyned]

DUDE JACKING OFF IN THE COURT ROOM ZOOM!!!!!!

[ape attack survivor @pissvortex]

Dumb fucks fell for the free buses trick 😂 Sharia law is coming to New York City and there is nothing you can do to stop us

[Desus MF Nice💯 @desusnice]

grubhub in nyc defaulting to halal food, can't even uncheck the box smh

[ned @theonlyned]

Rest in Power King, I loved you on Seinfeld

[ned @theonlyned]

me, fantasizing about the speech I give at my dad's funeral going viral: yeah order 517, the one with the mcchicken

[ned @theonlyned]

I was so surprised- usually, they never give feedback

[ned @theonlyned]

They are not lying when they say the job market is brutal rn

[ned @theonlyned]

me trying to talk someone out of kts: nooooo :( lowkey it would show them all tho

[ned @theonlyned]

my dad said he had a dream he was a baby the other night and i don't know why but that was one of the most alarming things ever

[Otto Von Biz Markie @wittgenfine]

Me reading infinite jest outside a coffee shop in grey sweatpants

[ned @theonlyned]

Getting a tech for telling the ref a really confusing riddle

[ned @theonlyned]

I need everyone’s thoughts and prayers at all times

[ned @theonlyned]

The day after Mother’s Day should be a national holiday — we shouldn’t have to go into work hungover after getting fucked up with our moms

[ned @theonlyned]

If Dr. Pepper were real he would be my general practitioner regardless of insurance

[ned @theonlyned]

If Dr. Pepper were real I would go to him

[For Sale: Gender Reveal Tire, Lightly Used @SparrowAdorer]

You can tell the lady who recorded the "Insert cash or select payment type" audio is hot as hell

[ned @theonlyned]

Yeah I was boys with the pope, we hung out, played overwatch, but you don’t see me on the news acting like I was POE (Pope Over Everything)

[ned @theonlyned]

Will Smith should go up and slap the shit out of Conan O’Brien

[ned @theonlyned]

When you're non-binary, are you born with a carabiner for your keys, or is a carabiner for your keys thrust upon you?