Chris Ward

@mostxlnt everywhere but not here at all now

[Chris Ward @mostxlnt]

@iainthomson Man now in custody. Bit of a cheesy pic, mind you.

[Sam Carlisle @samcarlisle]

Me on the budget SEND provision. Thank you but we're keeping a very close eye. https://t.co/6uxJSFV40o

[Chris Ward @mostxlnt]

@iainthomson Sounds like this IS his retirement plan.

[Adam Roberts @arrroberts]

‘Paddington Bear given official UK 00 “Licence to Kill” by Home Office. “I've got a list of bastards I'm going straight after with this,” said the Peruvian-born ursine.’

[Chris Ward @mostxlnt]

@katebevan @BetteridgesLaw I read a story last night about a woman whose plane had been cancelled so she hired a car and is driving right now into the path of the hurricane to visit friends. Who, hopefully, have evacuated.

[Chris Ward @mostxlnt]

@GrahamSmith_ @BarristerSecret So you’d be happy for people to throw soup over your windows?

[Chris Ward @mostxlnt]

@Thievesbook @NewsOrFallSong @knipey43 Just jumping on the onion gravy train

[Chris Ward @mostxlnt]

@Thievesbook Gotta keep those schools heated somehow.

[Chris Ward @mostxlnt]

One for @ememess

[star 💫 @stxrinsky]

😭

[nikkib @nicbasarab]

@MarkHamill @TristanSnell Hi Mark - I have a post on Tristan’s post that is getting some traction. Women voters. If you have a moment

[Chris Ward @mostxlnt]

@ememess Pfft, my favourite fact, which is much too good to check, is that real civilisation began in the region of where Ukraine is now where they stored the summer calories from wheat in the form of vodka by distilling it to maximise storage potential.

[Chris Ward @mostxlnt]

@katebevan @maybelle_morgan @Scientits It’s embarrassingly low, that’s what the rate is.

[Chris Ward @mostxlnt]

@maybelle_morgan Is this your first time commissioning a journalist? I did the job for 25 years and the best advice I can give you it to say how much you’re willing to pay. Otherwise everyone will assume, probably correctly, that the pay is so low you’re embarrassed to mention it.

[Chris Ward @mostxlnt]

@Nigel_Farage And yet you’ve learned nothing.

[Chris Ward @mostxlnt]

@jk_rowling @SwipeWright When will you publish yours?

[Chris Ward @mostxlnt]

@R1100GSBlueNose Too early to say, obviously. We’ll just have to wait to for the results of the in-depth, impartial investigation. Lol.

[Chris Ward @mostxlnt]

@reformparty_uk @LeeAndersonMP_ Bwahahahahaha! Are you here all week? Should I try the veal?

[isaacs @izs]

Y'all. Seriously.

Hardly anyone even understands the unbelievable depth of Tolkien's linguistic genius. If ever there was an artist just straight up making jokes that only he would ever get, omg. So get this, it's epic.

You know the "Brandywine River" in Lord of the Rings?

[Chris Ward @mostxlnt]

@paullewismoney Just read the sentencing comments. https://t.co/E5GL29ARfq