D. M. Smith

Writer. Photographer. Aspiring TBD.

[D. M. Smith @mplsspeaks]

Welp, getting dressed, making coffee, and starting my day at 4am because I can’t sleep knowing @pattonoswalt is about to wake up to some pretty fucking beautiful news.

Goosebumps.

#GoldenStateKiller

[D. M. Smith @mplsspeaks]

@jmj Pipsqueak is up there

[D. M. Smith @mplsspeaks]

@jmj @SammySchro 👀

[Matt Fuller @MEPFuller]

Saudi Arabia: Hey PGA golfers! We have a bunch of money to offer you for our new league.

PGA Tour: You’re ruining the game and sportswashing your reputation of human rights abuses.

SA: OK but what if we offered *you* a lot of money?

PGA: Today, we’d like to announce a merger w

[D. M. Smith @mplsspeaks]

@ChuckCallesto Classic Flying V

[D. M. Smith @mplsspeaks]

Long overdue

[Brian Krassenstein @krassenstein]

BREAKING: The SEC has just charged the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and its Investment Management Company for failing to disclose $32 BILLION in assets & creating thirteen shell companies to hide those assets.

Thank you SEC for holding these people accountable!

[Robert Reich @RBReich]

In recent years, Norfolk Southern’s lobbyists fought rail safety legislation in the Ohio legislature.

The company’s PAC also greased the wheels with campaign contributions to lawmakers on the transportation committee.

Get money out of politics. Now.

[Jon Uleis @MovingToTheSun]

My new favorite thing - Bing's new ChatGPT bot argues with a user, gaslights them about the current year being 2022, says their phone might have a virus, and says "You have not been a good user"

Why? Because the person asked where Avatar 2 is showing nearby

[Mises Caucus @LPMisesCaucus]

A train derailment in Ohio is currently emitting massive amounts of carcinogenic compounds into the air, this alone would be enough to be interesting but it seems there is more to the story. Norfolk Southern seems to be operating hand in hand with the government in this area, going so far as to arrest reporters covering certain details of the incident. The company has a strong lobbying presence and has been trickling out preparedness grants to emergency response and non-profit organizations in the areas that they operate, building dependency and increasing local departments’ willingness to “play ball” with the company in suppressing information.

[✍️ @jazzanchovy]

I got fired for saying “let’s feed two birds with one scone” in a meeting

[D. M. Smith @mplsspeaks]

@AnicaSeelie I’m over 30 but was delighted to see these still being sold regularly at dispensaries across the country. Dug outs just make sense

[Billy Binion @billybinion]

Tawanda Hall fell $900 behind on a payment plan for her taxes. With added fees, she owed $22,642.

The local treasury took her home and sold it for **over $300,000.**

And then they kept the remainder. The government stole over $286,000. Jaw-dropping. /4 https://t.co/VGEcZ2R6ci

[Jeremy McLellan @JeremyMcLellan]

Remember if your flight gets cancelled most airports have a secret fleet of backup planes with lots of seats but they’re only available if you’re mean enough to low-level employees.

[Dan Duvall @DanDuvallComedy]

I accidentally used my mom’s fabric scissors to cut wrapping paper and now the cops are here

[D. M. Smith @mplsspeaks]

@blumenfeld We know.

[Midwest Antiquarian @Eric_Erins]

I don’t think I’ve fully internalized how frankly bizarre the world of suburban mega churches are. And I’m saying that as somebody who attended one as a kid

[Fifty Shades of Whey @davenewworld_2]

Whoever bought that Eli Lilly blue check has to hold the title for spending the most consequential $8 in modern human history

[Dan Wilbur @DanWilbur]

In 7th grade, my friends and I convinced a large number of students to put the name “Heywood Jablome” in the school raffle and when the principal read the name in the gym, we all screamed for five straight minutes. Everyone got a detention. That’s how Twitter feels now.

[Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit]

Controversial take: this place is the best it’s ever been

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

marjorie taylor greene, who voted against gay marriage two months ago because it’s a sin, is now getting divorced from her husband after cheating on him with the manager of her gym