Mike Eagan

Future CEO of Lumon Industries #PraiseKier

[Jessica Smetana @jessica_smetana]

I heard they’re going to rename it the Haaland Tunnel

[Mike Eagan @mqeagan]

Fund the Athletic Department for 10 years and we can talk.

[dank @cptdankkk]

Jake Paul says he wants to play slot receiver in the NFL after boxing, starting at Stanford

“I do have NFL aspirations after boxing. I want to play slot receiver, and so I think to get that experience, college first would be good so I could walk onto the Stanford team”

“I'm being serious. I was originally thinking I'll just go straight to the Cleveland Browns or Dallas Cowboys, but they're probably going to want to see me play first”

“So, it might be better if I start off in college and have a little bit of an advantage over the younger, not as big kids before going into the NFL”

[T. Becket Adams @BecketAdams]

Boy, was I wrong.

CNN's reporting was accurate, and I was very, very wrong. This iteration of the Trump presidency is exactly as inept as advertised.

https://t.co/C3i40GRgmF

[Acyn @Acyn]

Watters: Is like blind loyalty to an idiot, does that override that?

Jessica: Well, you do blind loyalty to an idiot every day.

[Eric Brewer @BrewerEricM]

The Iran equivalent of “Mexico will pay for the wall.”

[Sam Stein @samstein]

No one cut a 300 foot slit in the sealing of the Reflecting Pool. That would literally be the length of a football field. We are supposed to believe this happened with a knife and no one noticed?

[Jon Michael Raasch @JMRaasch]

US Park Police have a mobile surveillance truck circling the Reflecting Pool after Trump said it was vandalized.

I’ve asked Park Police, National Park employees and local authorities about the 300ft gash Trump says is here.

No one knows or won’t comment. I don’t see a gash.

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

SUSAN COLLINS: The people of Maine want independence

FOX NEWS: You've voted with President Trump about 94% of the time

[Mike Eagan @mqeagan]

@SFist can i pet that dog

[Javier Blas @JavierBlas]

It may only last 60 days (I doubt it; likely would become permanent), but the US Treasury’s waiver is effectively rolling back 40-year plus of American oil sanctions against Iran.

Even US refiners are allowed to import Iranian oil and pay for it in greenback!!!

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

“swap aipac for jews” YOU’RE the one doing that!!!!

[Isi Breen @isaiah_bb]

Another opportunity to tell my favorite DC story.

Early in my career I interviewed to be Tulsi’s press sec. During the interview the chief said “a big part of your job will be fielding questions about the cult.”

I said “is she in a cult?”

“Eh, depends how you define cult”

[The Telegraph @Telegraph]

In the midst of all the chaos, Larry the cat is proving to be one of the few constants in Downing Street as he prepares for a potential seventh new owner

Follow the latest updates 👇
https://t.co/08jvhcBz3Q

[Scott Bryan @scottygb]

the most stable figure in british politics the last decade is the man who sets up the lectern the PMs resign from

[Tim Miller @Timodc]

Why is a Saudi agent with no security clearance representing America in this meeting ?

[Mike Eagan @mqeagan]

@StrikeoutsRUs @jjkattar @CommingledAsset @NBCSGiants Throwing a hissy fit on the field does nothing except convince gullible people like you that he’s The Alpha. Fake hustle. And contrary to the team’s goals.

[Pierre LeBrun @PierreVLeBrun]

Hearing that the Florida Panthers are getting close to acquiring Brady Tkachuk from the Ottawa Senators.
I believe Ottawa will get three first-round picks and a second-round pick in the deal if finalized. More to come.

[Benjamin S. Weiss @BenjaminSWeiss]

Trump says he’s “inspected” the reflecting pool after Marine One lapped the Mall at altitude earlier. He said the pool was “seriously vandalized.”

[Mike Eagan @mqeagan]

@StrikeoutsRUs @CommingledAsset @NBCSGiants I was inclined to defend him after the Sox seemed to bungle the situation last year. But after a full year I think we know a lot about him. And today was another obvious example.