Scotty

Chief engineer on the Starship Enterprise, kingpin miracle worker and liar when it comes to repair times. Warp Speed..

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

@captjameskirk The tree’s holding together, but if one more ornament’s added, she’ll blow like a warp core

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

Another to beam out #godspeed #Uhura

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

@captjameskirk updated the primary ship computer access #cyber

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

And that was what we splurged our last $10 dollars on in 1986 before the whale theft… matching shirts

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

They might call me the miracle worker, but it’s a miracle I haven’t vomited at the sight of all the used prophylactics in @captjameskirk cryo tube.. laddie you have problems

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

Almost a full 12 months in cryo sleep… I need a scotch! And who in the name of all things holy left all this @TheGornCaptain Gorn shit in the engineering bay?

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

And that was the last time @captjameskirk was allowed to program the replicator for special mayonnaise

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

Who keeps programming Soylent Green into the replicators? #itsnotdelicious

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

@captjameskirk Are they spam? I just accepted a order to install solar panels on the port nacelle

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

In professional news.. I’ve just finished painting targets on the transporter pads. That should save an arm and a leg #creative

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

@captjameskirk Where’s my redundancy?

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

@captjameskirk Up your shaft

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

Updating the replicator menu items... any special requests?

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

@leils And why sort of fruit sauce is that? Sounds like something @lt_leslie would gargle

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

@captjameskirk NO!

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

@captjameskirk Have you taken the ceremonial Mugato horn from engineering again? #ceremonialhorn

[Picard Tips @PicardTips]

Picard management tip: Intuition is valuable, but it's not a substitute for facts.

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

@DrMcCoy @captjameskirk @1701_Redshirt @Mr_Scott I’m sorry to report the Tribble cage has been opened on wig deck 8 for some time..

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

@captjameskirk The only thing you care for is your wig collection on deck 8.... the whole bloody deck!!

[Scotty @Mr_Scott]

Quarantine doesn’t matter when you can beam Red Shirts into Covid hotspots #justsaying