“Japanese are polite and Chinese are super rude”. I’m currently in Japan, and here’s why I DISAGREE:
In Japan, politeness is very formal. There’s respect speech – keigo – and an emphasis on giving people personal space, being quiet, not disturbing others. On the surface, that looks extremely polite, right?
Bowing is seen as polite, but if you did that in my culture, you’d be seen as errr a bit weird. So it’s not that easy to define “politeness”, it varies in different cultures.
But for me, that also makes it hard to get close to people. You’re always treated very correctly, very respectfully… but you still feel like an outsider. It’s like there’s a soft wall of politeness between you and them.
Whereas for the Chinese, they have the tradition of li (礼), i.e ritual politeness, respect for seniors, giving face, but this all comes through *showing it*. You rarely go out for dinner without a Chinese person demanding to pay, even they’ll bring you a gift. They can be more direct with their words, but their actions make you feel more like a friend than a stranger.
So in China, loud aunties helping you, shouting your name, stuffing food into your bowl, that’s politeness. It just doesn’t look like Japanese politeness. Both are fine, neither is wrong, but personally I prefer the Chinese style!
Dating nowadays is a joke. You have to act like you don't care, wait hours to reply, pretend you're not too interested just so they don't think you're too available. God forbid you actually like someone and show it. It's not love anymore, it's all mind game.