Courtney Breen

Teacher. Beach bum. History Nerd. Beer Snob. In any order. Constantly advocating for the 13 year olds that make me crazy every day.

[Courtney Breen @msbreenmachine]

I played about 17 games of solitaire with a deck of cards today because it kept my 4 month old calm to watch, but also because I kept losing. He went to sleep and I played until I won.

[Ramin Nasibov @RaminNasibov]

Millennials have been chasing this high for decades

[Zach @zachsgotlife]

Zendaya and Tom Holland got married and no one knew about it and we still haven't seen pictures. THAT is romantic. Having a massive spectacle in the middle of midtown on a holiday weekend is tacky as hell.

[Courtney Breen @msbreenmachine]

Genuinely the only thing that is keeping my 15 week old happy this week is licking my husband’s arm. Why is he like this?

[Courtney Breen @msbreenmachine]

I teach the 14th amendment every September and somehow internet conservatives are only just discovering it.

[Courtney Breen @msbreenmachine]

SHOW ME SPIKE LEE

[Courtney Breen @msbreenmachine]

My two month old is how too long for 3 month clothing. I want to cry, but I’m also a woman that’s 6 ft tall, how did I not expect this?

[Courtney Breen @msbreenmachine]

Spent most of the night standing over my 7 week old son’s crib as we try to learn to sleep there, and I realize I am his sleep paralysis demon.

[Courtney Breen @msbreenmachine]

There is no hard and fast rule but marrying a guy born the same year as you is the best.

[Ryan Grim @ryangrim]

An extremist group in Washington, DC has claimed credit for the terrorist attack on the Iranian bridge, promising further attacks on civilian infrastructure if its demands aren't met

[Courtney Breen @msbreenmachine]

@NASAAdmin And have an increased focus and spending on science education in our schools, just like during the Space Race?

[Courtney Breen @msbreenmachine]

@PressSec What Jesus do you worship that preached about the benefits and love of war?

[Lindsay Ballant @lindsayballant]

2027 Super Bowl Halftime performer plz

[Courtney Breen @msbreenmachine]

Ready for “Because I Got High” to have a “Running Up That Hill” style resurgence.

[Courtney Breen @msbreenmachine]

@KeruboSk I don’t want to bring in all that I accumulated throughout the day (physical, mental, emotional) into my bed with me.

[pb @TheBreenRanger]

people who deny israeli apartheid and the genocide in gaza should have to explain why they think they know better than every independent human rights organization and the international association of genocide scholars.

[Courtney Breen @msbreenmachine]

@TheBreenRanger You can tell your nephew it’s a good birthday though.

[Mike Nellis @MikeNellis]

It should be a much bigger story that oil prices surged because of Trump’s illegal war in Iran, forcing the White House to ease sanctions on Russian oil—only for Russia to take that money and help Iran target American troops.

[𝕷𝖚𝖈𝖎𝖋𝖊𝖗 @LucifersTweetz]

We live in a country where an alcoholic from Fox News runs our military, a former heroin addict is in charge of our health, and they both report to a convicted felon.

What a time to be alive.

[Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais]

Gotta think DHS is the highest office a dude named Markwayne has ever held anywhere in the world.