Murph

New mom + software developer asking questions about our education system.

[Murph @MsMurph_]

5mo is hard. You feel like you’re out of the newborn phase so you should be in a rhythm but they’re still unreliable sleepers and you’re tired and it makes you question how good a mother you are if you’re struggling while your husband (no matter how great he is) seems able to maintain a lot of his old life and you want everyone to be happy so you do what everyone else wants.

I found writing letters to be a good way to get thoughts down in an organized manner to be able to see what I really needed to ask for. I would read them aloud. It is hard to convey how exhausting certain elements of motherhood are and even harder to ask for what you need. You can do it! We’re 16mo in and in such a better rhythm but oh my did I feel the same way at 5mo.

[Murph @MsMurph_]

@Gena_I_Gorlin @mbateman Reliable video feed, background audio, zero other tabs or add-ons or popups. That’s all please.

[Murph @MsMurph_]

4yo politely tried to ask her parents about the moon at dinner multiple times but the dad kept shoving the iPad back in her face. Her brother was hunched over his playing a game. I try not to judge, but I feel sorrow for so many children.

[Murph @MsMurph_]

@chrisman Ha I used it just as a figure of speech meaning so off-brand are you joking. No it won’t kill anyone, but based on the other ways you’ve described raising your children it surprised me. An 18mo can play independently. Why bother using a hack now? It is a slippery slope for many.

[Murph @MsMurph_]

“In [public] school, the children, like butterflies mounted on pins, are fastened each to his place, the desk, spreading the useless wings of barren and meaningless knowledge which they have acquired.”
- Maria Montessori

[Murph @MsMurph_]

@GreatLakesWife_ I remember that exact night for my baby and I didn’t get any more sleep because I kept waiting for her to wake up ha! Enjoy it!

[Murph @MsMurph_]

I’m agreeing with you? I don’t know why it is a trend to think you need to entertain your child every waking second. It’s strange to me. Most the purpose of parenting is to raise an independently capable person so it goes completely against that. Putting a kid in a bouncer to stare at you while you work on the computer is strange to me. Like I said, at least let them play on the floor or even watch what you’re doing if it’s important to you that they see how you work.

[Murph @MsMurph_]

The child is awake and staring at her.

I think it’s powerful to have children see us build things and for ourselves to have things we want to build and definitely don’t think a mother needs to always be interacting with her child … but in this setting it’s a baby seeing a dead face (or one expressing interest in an ambiguous glass box) and contained to do nothing else. At the very least let baby on the floor to learn how to move.

[Murph @MsMurph_]

I ran multiple experiments with this. If the baby had been asleep for <10min I had significantly better odds of a successful transfer. ~80% success rate but as age increased the odds went down. Anything over 10min and it was a virtually 0% success rate too. Such a gamble but if it works it’s amazing.

[Murph @MsMurph_]

So many parents say their 2yo is going to preschool to avoid admitting they’re sending them daycare.

[Murph @MsMurph_]

@paulg Your baby watching your wife stare at a screen is your favorite captured memory? I don’t understand.

[Murph @MsMurph_]

@GreatLakesWife_ Preach. My husband and I both enjoy golf but now with a baby I find myself home and he continues with tournaments. I never realized truly how long it takes. He loves it though so I don’t want to take it away and I honestly don’t want to be gone 7hrs… I wish it were even though.

[Murph @MsMurph_]

@GreatLakesWife_ The best option is always to get out the house. Regardless of weather, you must get out!

[Murph @MsMurph_]

@GreatLakesWife_ Couldn’t agree more. I have a 15mo and simply cannot picture her eating in that way. She eats what we eat… and we don’t drink from bags.

[Murph @MsMurph_]

@liberty_lyss @ImColbyLyons Yes. I fondly look back on my time in school but now the realization of how much time was spent simply sitting and waiting in sickening. We only have so much time alive … spending it waiting is tragic.

[Murph @MsMurph_]

@yesimjustamom I don’t think age matters. If your kid is 12, they are in daycare.

[Murph @MsMurph_]

I went to a library story hour today. 75% nannys, 24% moms, 1% grandparents.

Women now spend $300+ for baby “music” classes, nature “sensory” classes, or gymnastics for a 12mo just to feel any sense of connection with other women. There is no community so people pay to find one.

[Murph @MsMurph_]

These things make you see how student learning is not the priority of the current system.

[David Zweig @davidzweig]

Pittsburgh Public Schools will be closed for three days, and compel "asynchronous" remote learning, because of the NFL Draft.

Since the city will have a lot of visitors this will "ensure students can continue learning safely and effectively."

Unreal.
https://t.co/SFL3VDw86D

[Murph @MsMurph_]

@made_in_cosmos Nah. My new mom group has been invaluable. It’s more about closeness of others going through the same thing than getting advice.