🍄

strictly for my ninjas

[🍄 @msudara15]

Forgiveness isn't for them. It's for you. 🔑

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

It's amazing how much you can accomplish around the house under the threat of someone coming over.

[kay🔆 @novusluna]

Me grabbing clothes out the dryer without a basket

[shelby @thetrueshelby]

They act like the biggest threat to society is a single mom buying soda with food stamps instead of a billionaire buying his 13th senator.

[Cooper Lawrence @CooperLawrence]

“Runaway brides” should be called “near Mrs.”

Thank you, this is why I have a PhD

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

That loud whistle people do with their fingers in their mouths.

[☔ @Whotfismick]

POV: You're watching a movie on a bright day with the window open

[staxxx🦅 @papiwontmiss]

No matter how small you try to make that “unsubscribe” at the bottom of an email, I WILL DEFINITELY FIND IT

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

The most important thing I've learned in life, and I can't stress this enough: you gotta make a salad in a bigger bowl than you think

[Rajvi @rajvishah30]

today someone in office said that “worrying is the worst way to use your imagination” and that’s easily the best thing Ive heard all week

[F1LTHY @milkygoons]

Imagine explaining this to someone in the 1970's

[☔ @Whotfismick]

‘Are you busy?’

Me: ‘No’

*Incoming video call*

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

I've never found a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

imagine if mangoes didn't have that big ass stone in the middle and u could just eat them without any interference i wouldn't know how to act

[soup🌱 @thrluv]

i am both big dawg & baby girl

[helkum @he1kumwya]

My hand after I take a mean nap laying on my arm.

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

my favourite thing is when you stop petting a dog, and he puts his paw on you like "we're not done here"

[miia @miiagarro]

getting your period right after a day of crying is so validating like i knew i wasn't a weak bitch... i was just hormonally possessed