MuffinBuzz

Your inside source for all Muffin Farmers happenings.

Setting the bar for breaking Muffin Farmer news since 2013

[MuffinBuzz @MuffinBuzz]

Told by an impeccable source @letsgobillson3 and @gregemerz mental status “dicey at best” ahead of Bills/Chiefs. Both BAWT and Merz acknowledged the well wishes from @GOLFCOOKIECUP faithful and their desire for the Bills to beat KC.

[MuffinBuzz @MuffinBuzz]

Told by a source @ChristianGoetz1 will be golfing exclusively in swimsuits during @GOLFCOOKIECUP. @ChristianGoetz1 is known for his American patriotism and wants there to be no doubt where he is from for the entirety of #CookieCup11

[MuffInsider @MuffInsider]

We saw @MeanieMuffin do this but it's likely because he enjoys recreational percocets.

[MuffInsider @MuffInsider]

Both @MFHockeyClub GM Elik & @BetosPizza GM Emory Featherbottom will have press availability today. We will report any newsworthy comments.

[MuffInsider @MuffInsider]

GM Elik on @BetosPizza roster, "A talented group. A youthful group. Certainly a lot for any team to handle. We have a huge challenge on our hands. They try to get our guys off their game with theatrics but we'll be focused. We know the prize for one more win."

[MuffInsider @MuffInsider]

GM Elik on @TheMorrellJr, "The guy took a lot of criticism this season. I believe he's playing his best hockey right now. The tape shows it. I can confirm he had his jersey on backwards before last game. Helped keep the room loose."

[MuffInsider @MuffInsider]

GM Elik on @MFHockeyClub scoring depth, "It's a strength of ours. We rolled out a great top 6 last game with @corntusker, @razmatazz05, & @Wolf_Stansson39 unavailable. I think @chunkinaround2 has a big game in him. It really could come from any of those guys. Tough to defend."

[MuffInsider @MuffInsider]

GM Elik on @MFHockeyClub defense core, "Whether it has been 3 or 4, they've been strong. @AlexArtayet's physical presence made a big difference last game. The forwards also assisted with a strong backcheck. We were dialed in."

[MuffInsider @MuffInsider]

GM Elik on the play of @MFHockeyClub goalie McLennan, "Mac is a gamer. He's aggressive in the crease. His focus against Gong Show was what we need from him. This is a big game for league-wide perception."

[MuffInsider @MuffInsider]

GM Featherbottom "@BetosPizza was robbed of a championship last year. We will not be denied this year. We butt slammed @MFHockeyClub last time we played. The parade is already planned with so much cheap sprinkle cheese to drop everywhere on the route. So sweet, bro."

[MuffInsider @MuffInsider]

GM Featherbottom of @BetosPizza, "@MFHockeyClub is too old. I don't think they have a single college or high school player. They act like this isn't an @nhl level league."

[MuffInsider @MuffInsider]

GM Featherbottom of @BetosPizza on @Wolf_Stansson39, "I want to jump him in a dark alley with 8 other guys. I want his wife & @corntusker to watch it. He's not even that hot. Those lips cannot be real. Anyway, I don't like him. No one on our team does."

[MuffInsider @MuffInsider]

GM Featherbottom of @BetosPizza on @TheMorrellJr, "Guy has the same last name as Hitler's personal doctor. I'm not sure what else you need to know."

[MuffInsider @MuffInsider]

GM Featherbottom of @BetosPizza, "Listen, do your own research and all. It's a fact that Khristisch is a Ukranian troll farm employee funded by @chunkinaround2's shell corp to get @realDonaldTrump reelected in 2024 with a reincarnated JFK Jr. as his running mate. Everyone knows."

[MuffInsider @MuffInsider]

GM Featherbottom of @BetosPizza on @MFHockeyClub ownership #FSG, "What type of food can they make? Hehe he. What a joke. How many games have they even attended? Our owners make pizza! #MuffinNation has review bombed our pizza on @Yelp. It's much better than a 3.8 rating!!!"

[MuffInsider @MuffInsider]

We don't see any scenario where subtracting @Wolf_Stansson39 from the @MFHockeyClub is a good move. Maybe if they can trade him for Connor Bedard or @AADaddario.

[MuffinBuzz @MuffinBuzz]

It would not be @MFHockeyClub playoff season without some sort of event

[MuffinBuzz @MuffinBuzz]

BREAKING: We’ve just confirmed @Wolf_Stansson39 has told club leadership he is “stepping away” from the team effective immediately and will not play Tuesday. Concerned about being a distraction, 39 plans to communicate to the team in some capacity prior to face off

[MuffinBuzz @MuffinBuzz]

Also told @chunkinaround2 and will be “heavily involved” with discussions as 22 views @Wolf_Stansson39 as a “necessary protector” post concussion return. A source indicated 39’s plan to “relocate to Mexico to sell coconuts and narcotics to tourists on the beach” is not viable

[MuffinBuzz @MuffinBuzz]

BREAKING: @Wolf_Stansson39 currently “mulling” @MFHockeyClub retirement. Post what all hopes are a victory parade, told FSG brass are making plans to meet with Brooks privately at company headquarters post the season to understand “what it will take” to keep Brooks playing

[MuffinBuzz @MuffinBuzz]

One club official that was granted anonymity as they were not permitted to speak on this subject stated, “we’ve seen these types of Daniel Alfredsson retirement dances before - we aren’t overly concerned”. @MFHockeyClub opens the playoffs on Tuesday with an early 1120pm face off

[Muffin Farmers @MFHockeyClub]

OFFICIAL: We will host defending ICCHL League Champions Gong Show in our playoff semifinals game this upcoming Tuesday March 14th at 11:20 PM on @DIRECTV Channel 869. #FarmOn
#FinishTheStory
#Playoffs
#PackTheCastle