Muh Proxy

IT mechanic, breaking illusions. Powered by snark, sarcasm, irony, & the slow collapse of civilization. I'm the dude playin the dude, disguised as another dude!

[Muh Proxy @MuhProxy]

@Acyn Name one person.

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@Republicans #ftfy

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

My therapist told me I need to be more intentional about my marriage.

So I onboarded my wife onto a personal CRM platform to track our relationship metrics.

I created a kanban board for household chores and assigned her three urgent tickets for folding laundry.

She didn't appreciate being tagged as an operational resource in a domestic sprint.

I set up an automated weekly email summarizing our emotional KPIs.

It tracks our date nights, argument frequency, coitus, and overall conversational ROI.

Yesterday I sent her a calendar invite for a performance review regarding her dishwashing velocity.

She declined the invite and proposed a new meeting titled "legal separation."

I realized my optimization strategy was perhaps lacking human empathy.

I tried to roll back the integration, but she had already revoked my administrative access to the primary bedroom.

I am currently sleeping on the couch.

Tomorrow I am going to buy her flowers and log it as a client retention expense.

[Muh Proxy @MuhProxy]

@GaryMarcus Where did they go wrong?

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@zerohedge Someone snuck in an AirTag.

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@allenanalysis @jaketapper What a loser snoozer.

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@DonSelfHSI @WhiteHouse @PitViperShades Yes it is!

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@DidChaseSlamIt @WhiteHouse @PitViperShades Lots of examples on Google Images.

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@liidesigns @WhiteHouse @PitViperShades you must be

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@AlaskaNorseman @WhiteHouse @PitViperShades You're close to the Gulf which helps your pricing.

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@GaryMarcus Re: #1, Google has been working on this for some time.

https://t.co/cyWw7lqgtz

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@AnthropicAI Are these implications good or bad for society and people as a whole?

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@LucifersTweetz A lot of closeted people in this administration.

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@LucasSa56947288 He and his wife already know.

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@ewarren Trillions in wealth for whom? The poor and middle class? Nyet.

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@WhiteHouse @PitViperShades It'll be an expensive summer with gas prices rising because of your stupid war with Iran and your previous tariffs driving up grocery and other life staple prices!

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@WhaleFUD Shouldn't what Trump is doing with his "Iran war announcements" be considered as stock market manipulation? I think so.

[Breaking Aviation News & Videos @aviationbrk]

LUFTHANSA STATEMENT:

"Several staff ​members were injured during an incident on the ground at Frankfurt Airport at 12:45 p.m. (1045 GMT) today. Passengers had not yet boarded, crew members and ground staff were on board ⁠the aircraft at the time of the incident. We are currently investigating the exact circumstances with the relevant authorities." https://t.co/KZiKPs93TV

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@AtlRey There are a lot of people that agree with you brother.