Marty's Hoverboard

comedy expert \ bitcoin billionaire \ friend to the unfriended \ viva la socialism, baby!

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

For those of you wondering what happened to my account, I got suspended by the time police.

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

what the....?!
#purromania

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

Carlboros Jr.

Don't bother me.
I'm eating (myself).

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

@IainND fuck leg day, it's spine day! everyone post yourself going beastmode with some spine lifts!
spina BUFFida ftw!!

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

@kiwehhh prove it..... edit your wedding footage so that all of our avatars appear on top of your hubby's face when you say "I do"

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

@6RAFFITl I get it, it makes sense tbh.....but whatever ur calling it, could you stop clawing thru the upholstery of my armchair?

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

@fencepisser the presence of terpenile cannibaldiodes had me all like [hella stoned face, like way stoneder than usual]

[torsionham.bsky.social @TorsionHam]

What am I? Just a small part of the universe that has become self aware

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

@cakemittens @A_Hammer_Boy actually Bono said the poem was "not funny at all". get ur facts straight, gang.

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

@trashmulder maybe no butthole means no more pooping, which would free up a bunch of time (though less pooping, in turn, means a reduction in tweet output).

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

picture this: you wake up one day and discover that your butthole has sealed shut....
what's your initial response (e.g. heartbroken, relieved, turned on) and what course of action do you take (call 911? call your ex? hire a publicist? etc.)

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

@nieltown I love being a randy, new man.

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

@rwoodsmall the bossy oath

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

@ThePaleApe incredibly vile bit of trivia about Jared: when he had to gain weight to play Mark David Chapman, he lived on iced cream melted in the microwave.... mixed with olive oil.
also weird AF: the name of the actor who played Lennon.....his real ass name... Mark. fucking. Chapman.

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

@RedactedDutta I was nodding excitedly, going "amen to that! penmanship lessons for the win!"
.....the 'NOT' left me shook.

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

@byrobot Ok but just remember that canceling an expression causes an anagram of it to emerge. Sorry, man. 1st law of thermo's.

[byrobot @byrobot]

Not to be an asshole, but here are a few expressions that I’m canceling:
Team work makes the dream work, living the dream, hot mess, cock and ball torture, bogo

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

@primpker [banging tin kettle on prison bars]

Sir! I say, Sir!.... I'm quite sure this act of incarceration was not legally sanctioned and for that matter you neglected the biscuits when you brought my earl grey, a crime of its own I dare say!

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

my BAZINGA! shirt.... professionally cleaned; tailored for a custom fit.

your BAZINGA! shirt..... ripping at the seams; BASICA!ly shit.

[Marty's Hoverboard @murrayoverboard]

@cranny_boy would you mind smiling at me for a couple minutes? I just wanna finish reading this chapter before bed.

[Dean Norris @deanjnorris]

Googled “based”. Still not sure but think it’s good