Moses Katana

Arsenal fan
Premier league winners 25/26
Chemist.

[Theory Henry @marxmende]

@Nikita_Kering The NIS really slipped up by not recruiting you to be a honeypot. You would get every secret from me. I’d be typing up the reports on me.

[𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐲𝐚𝐧 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐄𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐫 @0xYator]

Watu hujam ukiwauliza mbona hapigi shot ni juu washailewa wakajipupulia.

[Talisman🔫 @maximpelle]

Inakuanga a matter of time before shenanigans za mapenzi zicatch up na wewe. Homie alikuwa anaweka “over everything, i choose you” hapo kwa insta notes, leo ameweka “single equals peace”. Nimemleta kejani leo tukule skuma kavu ndo nimuongeze uchungu

[Moses Katana @musakalumbo]

@huko9m Eti nyama daily garissa 🫴😂😂😂 naisha!!

[Crazy_victor 🤑🤑 @crazyvictor24]

Pov: visit gone wrong 😅

[Moses Katana @musakalumbo]

@kotiro__ 😂😂😂 Ndovu je??

[Moses Katana @musakalumbo]

@crazyvictor24 Hii niliona kitambo tiktok ya jana ya yule wa "hey kababa" haukuwa umepost tiktok yule sandy kahush

[Crazy_victor 🤑🤑 @crazyvictor24]

Pov: Bad day at office 😅😅

[kawaya🇰🇪 @libertylke]

Leaf springs,coil springs and shock absorbers all on the rear of a vehicle is an uncommon combinatio

[The Kenyan Vigilante @KenyanSays]

" I am not sleeping very well, I am only sleeping 3 hours a day,"- A Swedish businessman has testified at the Milimani Law Courts on how a syndicate conned him out of KSh 61 million inside Harambee House.

Between January 10 and February 25, 2026, the suspects convinced representatives of the Swedish firm M/S Jokara AB that they could secure a government contract worth over KSh 4.6 billion (USD 36 million) to supply 500 Toyota Hiace ambulances.

After flying to Nairobi on January 27, 2026, the victim was escorted to a boardroom on the 12th floor of Harambee House, where a female accomplice allegedly helped them bypass security checkpoints. Inside, the suspects posed as senior officials from the Ministry of Interior, the Ministry of Health, and the National Treasury, presenting forged award letters and contract agreements.

Believing the procurement deal was genuine, the victim transferred roughly KSh 60.8 million through a series of payments wired into a local Kenyan bank account tied to the network.

[Arsenal @Arsenal]

Vik and Noni - the detective duo we didn't know we needed 🔍

Enjoy Guess The Arsenal Player 8 on The Arsenal App ⚡️

[𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐇 🇰🇪 @kailas_davies]

Mnisaidie kusalimia huyu jamaa arudishe hii pesa😭am just a comrade jameni na nmetoa kwa pesa ya rent🥲I saw the red flags but kuwa desperate ni kitu mbayaa💔hii ilinipata off guard
0785 598494 - his number
0727055643 -number nlituma pesa
Salimieni yeye akiz 🥲 and be warned

[𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐇 🇰🇪 @kailas_davies]

Yaani mtu anapost apo kwa @_mr_mutinda with hope utapata thru pass ya job only to be conned 😭hamna huruma yani, mnaosha adi unemployed 🥲

[Jay @_mr_mutinda]

Iza mzee

[Russian Embassy in Kenya/Посольство России в Кении @russembkenya]

Footballer Mesut Özil has been added to Ukraine's "Myrotvorets" enemy list due to comments he made.

He found himself on a kill-list for calling FIFA to give up double standards, saying imposing sanctions on Russia, and not doing so against Israel is unfair.

[Karis @YaneKariuki]

Governor unatuandikia paragraphs juu umelaunch tap ya maji, ukijenga hosi si utachapisha vitabu jameni?

[Moses Katana @musakalumbo]

@Kebaso__ I once had intercourse with a cat mom. That was some sex we had! Ubarikiwe sana Mercy I wish your cat hadn't jumped that storey building 😭.

[Jepchumba🇰🇪 @SaniegoChumbaa]

In june I was travelling via northrift to Bungoma, and I had the most interesting seat mates.
Kiprop & Wephukulu, Kiprop is a researcher at Karlo ama sijui kemri.
Wephukulu is a sales manager at some company i forgot the name.
Kiprop is tutam, Wephu is 1 term mimi nilikua look warm niskie mambo yao.
I initially thought Kiprop is luo the stature, bling bling, portable WiFi, perfume unajua nimezoea wakeiyo wangu wananukia perfume ya Mungu(natural)🤣 & the viceroy at hand.
He started drinking before the matatu left, he asked if i would join nikamwambia i had eaten a snack so my stomach can't hold liquor.
I didn't want to start quoting scriptures like the daughter of a "shemanzi" that i am.
The journey started at 1pm,Wephu was the last to board & when saw Kip akichomoa mzinga to top up his glass akasema baas wewe sasa ndyo mtu🤣
And that is how they shared that mzinga tukipiga unending stories mimi nikiwa commentator ama sijui referee!
Wephu voted Arap Cheruiyot thinking the railway would be constructed nairobi-malaba he had high hopes.
Kip akasema yeye ni tutam come rain come sunshine, I was laughing the whole time with their arguments occasionally being catalyst on either sides.
Ikafika point sisi ndyo tulikua radio kwa gari 🤣 the more mzinga inaisha the more point of truth inafika.
Kip is married to a marakwet babe from tot they are campus sweethearts.
Wephu is a late 70s guy married to a madam with 4 kids.
Wephu is a church guy that drinks occasionally🤣 itabidi wakristo tukubali kuna hio bale siku hizi.
At his prime he was that kind of guy that goes drinking from Friday to Sunday yaani haonekani nyumbani.
It was a problem in his early days in marriage at some point they broke up with wyf for like 5 yrs, mschana akaenda thinking he will change while setting up siesta update her on his daily escapades but jamaa ndyo akizidi kuingia kwa mtungi.
Until later he told her he now wants to marry someone else, and he was just informing her.
The lady akamwambia they atleast need to talk for closure.
Na hivyo ndyo after meetup akarudi kwake for goood, her belongs zilimfwata baadae,they had 1 child at that point.
Ooohh he told us how he ended up in Nairobi in the early 90s he had gone to study pharmacy but dropped out after he got a sales job that paid good money.
Both are build like 100kgs going upwards yaani ile mwili ya kuwezana na makali.
Hapo ndyo nilijua kuna apartments hii nairobi unaweka finger prints kwa gate🤭 wonders of Jamaica(no guest would ever ambush you)
I got to hear their cheating escapades & the close instances their spouses almost caught them.
Na kumbe ni ukweli you guys pay security guards to alert you when the wyf arrives impromptu?
Kwanza mmoja alikuja with a gal kufika security akamwabia wyf is around so he had to get an uber for the gal na nyama imamtoka mdomoni hivyo🤣
Knowing his better half was in the house he pretended to be so tired & slept on the couch a few minutes in, "kwani unalalanga kwa kiti" he acts startled "kumbe ulikuja"
Mutyo agoi tuun Murenik.
We got to Nakuru Wephu topped up another mzinga na mjue glass ni moja wanakunywa nayo.
Coincidentally they were both going to the same funeral of their boy who had lost the mother i believe they became good friends from thereon.
Walevi ni watu roho safe sana.
I was the last person to alight and I wished we were travelling to Rwanda so that I continue listening to gossip🤣
That was the most interesting matatu ride ever.

[Tremembé @lioelsia]

This is why I struggle with a lot of the older generations in professional spaces. There's a culture of gatekeeping, complacency and entitlement. Unless you're their child, relative or someone they're hoping to get sexual favours from

[Douglas MechArthur ☭⃠ @Kicksbuttson]

Circa 2006, a Muslim man brings the body of his daughter in a wheelbarrow to the gates of the larger FOB that supplies our outpost.

He tells the gate guards that US forces killed her accidentally when we dropped bombs on the wrong location. It happens, but not often.

Long story short, the US Military does a full investigation because we actually take this shit seriously. Our JTAC and the pilot involved are both required to cease operations and go to Kandahar (KAF) for an interview with authorities.

It takes about five or six weeks before he returns and our Commander gets the report...

The investigation found that the girl's body was burned and mutilated post mortem, that she had died from blunt force trauma to the head.

Furthermore, she was not his daughter. She was his wife. I guess there was probably about a 30yr age difference. She must've been no more than 12yrs old, from what I was told.

Finally, his homestead is near the site we dropped the ordinance on, but it was not within a dangerous proximity of the impact site. The ordinance was dropped off-target, for sure. But still hundreds of meters away from his home.

Turns out the authorities immediately involved in the whole thing could tell this was bullshit from the beginning because the girl was clearly beaten, she smelled like a wood fire and not a chemical one which would be expected with phosphorus, the bomb wasn't incendiary in any way, and the off-target drop had already been reported and inspected using GPS and they knew it hadn't destroyed his home as he'd claimed.

Still, the Commander at that base authorized thousands of dollars worth of local currency to be given to the man before he left without the body of the girl he claimed was his daughter. He literally dumped it off the road in front of the gate, which is how our guys got ahold of it and got the surgeon's opinion on her wounds.

That same guy was later captured during a raid in another location. He was working with the Taliban, and we only made the connection because he began shouting about how we killed his daughter.

Muslims cannot be trusted.