Aminu, kula qwailaye ne ya sa kake fadin haka, but when you date a mature lady, she’s going to be your safe space, you will always be looking forward to seeing and talking with her. When you have problems, she’s going to offer solutions and advice, no unnecessary drama watsoever.
No disrespect to anyone, but God please don't send me another partner who doesn't know how to communicate, take accountability, or emotionally show up. I don't want a partner who's still battling their own issues, avoiding healing, depressed, or emotionally unavailable and refusing help. I don't want a partner who can't stand firm, speak with clarity, or take control of their own life.
A man calling you "baby" means nothing. A man calling you his girlfriend means nothing. A man giving you a baby means nothing. I'm about to hurt some feelings with this next one... A man marrying you means ΝΟΤΗING. You know what actually means something? A man changing himself, his lifestyle, and his ways because he doesn't want to lose you. THAT'S what means something.
Coming to understand that for me, words can permanently change how safe a relationship feels. I believe that there are lines that should never be crossed, even in the middle of an argument.
I’m real big on communication. If something changed, you could’ve talked to me. If you felt different, you could’ve told me that. I would’ve respected the truth way more than watching your effort change while you acted like everything was normal.
I have a theory.
A 10/10 isn’t the most attractive person. It’s the person who feels perfect to you despite their imperfections. That’s what love and attraction do.
It’s why people stay in relationships that make zero sense to everyone else. They see something you don’t.
The same person you see as a 10/10 is someone another person barely notices. And the person someone else is tired of could be your dream partner.
Everyone is a 10 in someone’s eyes. It just depends on who’s looking.
For those of you dating, you’re picking the person whose going to be with you on the worst day of your life…
The day you have to bury a parent.
The day your dog of 14yrs doesn’t get to come home from the vet.
The day the doctor calls you with bad news.
The day your emotions are so messed up you can’t tell what makes you feel the way you do.
The day you may lose your job.
The day you may need critical help with. your health.
The day business may be so bad, you crash back to ground zero.
And somehow, people are still dating as if they’re casting a movie roles…
“Oh, do they give me butterflies, are they exciting, are they tall or not, she doesn’t have ass, her boobs are small…”
Life’s not gonna care if they were tall enough when it punches you in the mouth.
And when that day comes, you’re not going to give a hoot if they said the right thing at the right time or if they’re 6’3 or taller.
You’re going to care if they showed up.
You’re going to care if they stood by your bedside and handled everything, when you were disintegrating from the inside out.
The older I get, the more I realize I careless about if I want to spend a Saturday night with this person, and I care more about if this person is willing to show up for me if my life falls apart. Because inevitably, bad stuff is going happen, and who’s standing by your side at the end of the day is truly what matters.
Peace and love!
No one is ahead of you, nor are you ahead of anyone. Everyone is walking the path written for them. What has passed you by was never meant for you, and what has been destined for you will never miss you..
Allahumma inni as'aluka 'ishatan naqiyyah, wa mitatan sawiyyah, wa marad-dan ghayra mukhziw-wa la fädih.
O Allah, I beg you for a pure life, a good death, and a return (to You) which is neither humiliating nor disgraceful.