Mike Johnson

Recently relocated from California to Scotland. Former teacher, politician, stay-at-home dad. Now I watch the sky, play with my dog, and cook. I love to cook.

[Mike Johnson @mxjohnson]

@sam_d_1995 lol anybody old enough to remember Dems having 60 seats in the senate is also old enough to remember the great betrayal by Joe Lieberman. It's never all diamonds. There's always at least one giant turd.

[Mike Johnson @mxjohnson]

@MarcoTheMarine7 @texasrunnerDFW

[Mike Johnson @mxjohnson]

@Itoscaresme One of my favorites. It’s nice to see your art on my timeline again, both old and new.

[Twonks @twonkscomics]

Cute Halloween costume

[Mike Johnson @mxjohnson]

@HypotheticBear @texasrunnerDFW Did you not see the stories about fake polling firms? There’s lots of ways to manipulate the odds. Just flood Reddit with bots touting the Talarico surge, then place your bets after the suckers.

In three card monte all but $20 of the money on the table comes from the mark.

[Mike Johnson @mxjohnson]

@nerdynikhil @KurthMusic It won’t load for me if I click the link in my twitter app. But it loads fine in Safari if I type the address in. UK, no VPN , iOS 27.0.1.

[trash jones @jzux]

feeling bad today. let me unwind by spending a couple hours on my Feeling Worse machine

[Mike Johnson @mxjohnson]

@PussycowLA That’s the LA Times map, not some realtor thing. It was an interesting process they used.

[Horsepower @horsepower_bk]

20 rts and I’ll do an acoustic cover of teenage dirtbag

[Mike Johnson @mxjohnson]

@jzux I would but I gotta go do a thing

[Mike Johnson @mxjohnson]

@DanFriedman81 @KAErdmann Skinner’s real identity, Armin Tamzarian, was named after Armen Tamzarian, a real person who is on my ballot as he campaigns to be an appeals court judge

[bob's burgers urbanist 🐿️ @yhdistyminen]

Who could have imagined that the "cooperating in the prisoner's dilemma makes you gay" party would full of defectors?

[Mike Johnson @mxjohnson]

@jeremychrysler When I see EDC posts I wonder if they wear cargo pants/fanny packs. I don’t carry a key or have a keyring, don’t like carrying phone or wallet. I’d love to live w/just my watch & earbuds.

Yet I have a dogwalk purse. Poopbags, bugspray, tick remover, clicker, treats, knife, flask

[Mike Johnson @mxjohnson]

@texasrunnerDFW And now you’ve put a fundraising plea from Talarico in front of my eyes. I’m not on their list but I’m also a potential contributor having donated to out-of-state-dems for decades.

Politicians beg for money. It’s part of the game.

[Lumafield @lumafield]

Our $500 Dyson CameraJet toothbrush died four minutes into its first use, just like other owners have been reporting. We CT scanned it and found a 0.4 mm tear in the jet tube that carries water or mouthwash up to the brush head, letting water flood the housing around the electronics. Would you pay $500 for a toothbrush?

[Mike Johnson @mxjohnson]

@timgill924 Same narrator as your other audiobooks?

[Mike Johnson @mxjohnson]

@SeanTrende What happened to No Weirdos

[Mike Johnson @mxjohnson]

@endtl_ @casoncorbittmfr @ChefRoyChoi You're arguing about world class cities with a guy who lives in Texas

[Mike Johnson @mxjohnson]

@Weather_West Yeah, somehow things went from me recommending people look you up, to people recommending that I look you up