DocJeff

Just another homeless fella living in the backwoods of Seattle. I express love through hugs and respect for all life. Critters of all kinds are my happy place.

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

Those who can make pies are worth at least half a kingdom in trade. :)

[Candy ☀️ 👙 🍹 @sweetAFmaybe]

My thanksgiving menu already has like 10 pies on it and I just found another recipe I HAVE to make. Apple butterscotch. Mmmm.

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

Mansluts aren't a thing anymore?

[𐙚 S 𐙚🥹💕 @nobodylikesteph]

Normalize calling men whores for sleeping with different women

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

I want to grind up some chocolate to make a cake that looks like ground hamburger. ;)

[Candy ☀️ 👙 🍹 @sweetAFmaybe]

Fuck. No ground beef now. I guess it’s good I’ve been training with chocolate and wine my whole life.

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

But wait... It'll happen again really soon.

[Angry Seattle @angryseattle]

Holy fucking dogshit not again

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

I have an autographed copy of the Bible. ;)

[Stephen Black @stephenRB4]

What’s the oldest book you own? 📚

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

That'll be in the self-help section right behind you. ;p

[Miles Commodore @miles_commodore]

What’s the purpose of a public library in 2026?

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

I occasionally ROFLCOPTER. ;)

[Candy ☀️ 👙 🍹 @sweetAFmaybe]

@scrumble_eggs Or ROTFLMFAO

[Stacy Andy @StacyAndy9]

Self portrait design ✍️✅
Kindly like and retweet guys 🤗
Rate my work 🫠

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

You would try avocado pizza?

[Auntie Smartassy @AuntSassyAss]

@crumbl Fruit pizza 😋

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

One of the many reasons I will bend the knee for you when you become Queen. :)

[Fuckin’ Princess @8WithaTiara]

you see how no one ever sees me in real life? very homey, very antisocial, very inside

[Doc  @DocAtCDI]

You're unbreakable: You said no to the shortcuts that would've broken you, you handled the quiet pain without breaking, that's not failure. That's grit. You make me proud just seeing this.

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

It is normal for the Mari-losers

[PSSeattle @ps_seattle]

IMO this is worse than the record breaking 22-2 loss.

This was at home, with an almost full stadium.

It’s unacceptable.

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

The Four Hosemen
The Road Warriors
The Midnight Express
The Rock & Roll Express
The Von Erichs

In that order. <3

[Tully Blanchard @Tully4HOF]

There’s only one answer here.

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

I go to Steve Harvey. He's one of my happy places.:)

[Steve Harvey @IAmSteveHarvey]

Where do you usually go to find good news to stay optimistic?

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

Thank you

[⚔️ Ina𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗯𝘆 ⚔️ @Songbird70x7]

I hope you know that you are worthy. You’re enough. You are in fact desirable and important to this world. You are loved. 💋 Never give up.

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

The bonus is that tequila makes your clothes fall off.

[mariana Z @mariana057]

Exercise makes you look better naked. But, so does tequila.

Your choice.

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

I have an idea. #DefundTrump

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

Alanis Morrissette's old, dirty hair?

[MP Arizona☀️🏳️‍🌈💙🌵🐕🐕‍🦺🫂💦🏜🐟🌴🎙🌎🌻♍️🌊 @AzPetrich]

RFK Jr. is now suggesting we eat "alternative foods" due to the poisoning of our actual food supply.

Forgive me for asking, but
WHAT THE FUCK IS ALTERNATIVE FOODS???

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

A book

[Doc  @DocAtCDI]

🎭 RIDDLE TIME

I am filled with words but never speak. I hold knowledge but have no brain. I am bound together yet free to roam. What am I?

Answer drops in 2 hours!

[DocJeff @mydocjeff]

Your tweets appear to be coming in clearly, if not a bit more sporadic than I remember.

[Lakota Man @LakotaMan1]

So, South African illegal immigrant Elon Musk has been limiting my tweet viewership. Please, tell me, can you see this tweet? Can you see me?