Adriana Elena

I don’t do anything I don’t want to do (she/her)

[Adriana Elena @nachodynamite]

the defense hereby gives notice to the court that the state is being a big jerk

[Rob @robrousseau]

Hi, I'm a strong independent conservative guy. I think the world's richest man is teaming up with a notoriously crooked real estate developer to destroy the government because they're both just really generous and want to help me out. also I love the cops, and my boss

[Adriana Elena @nachodynamite]

@deathgrips66666 beat me up please

[𝔅𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔞𝔤𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔱 𝔬𝔣 ℜ𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔶 @clevelandreaper]

Football is the only time many of us see broadcast television and it is a bizarre window into tv shows I cannot believe have an actual audience

[Law Goblin @lyssamy]

"But did he do it?" 1) I don't know, man, I wasn't there, 2) If he did I wouldn't tell you, 3) I don't care, 4) All my clients are constitutionally innocent, 5) All my clients are factually perfect baby angels who have never done anything wrong in their whole lives

[Liz Charboneau @lizchar]

RFK better not be getting any ideas

[stevie @adultmomband]

people being like “queer people survived Reagan” like no actually they did not? famously?

[Noor✰ @itsdaaboi2]

"up to you" "you pick" just kill me

[trash jones @jzux]

this is how it feels when your friends take care of you after a breakup

[Pole Doctress, MD 🍉 @PoleDoctress]

Literally. Sorry, the presence of undocumented immigrants does not affect my life whatsoever. Actually, it probably makes my life better in ways I don't usually consider

[jynx @jynxbby]

men be like “i’m fighting demons” and whole time it’s accountability

[rose @wynrosei]

girl whatever you’re going through right now as long as you’re not pregnant you’ll be fine

[BODEGA PEPTIDES @bigsnugga]

because i watched DERRY GIRLS (2018)

[Vic Mensa’s Orange Tree @KammyTaughtYou]

“And they used to put the lyrics to all the songs right inside the CD booklet.”

[jay🫶🏽 @jxda_]

i do not be expecting my friends to pay me back for lil sht. like why are u sending me $3 for a drink😒 dont piss me off.

[Eize Basa @PonchoRebound]

I want a “reverse Costco” where you can buy small amounts of items you will rarely use again, like specialty ingredients.

Let me pay $1 for 1 oz of fish sauce. Yes, I can get much more for not that much more money but then I’ll feel guilty every time I see it in my fridge.

[Samuel Sinyangwe @samswey]

“White collar crime” is a euphemism for large-scale theft and criminality on a level that far exceeds what normal people have the means to do. So Eric Adams stealing $10,000,000 is “white collar crime” but stealing a $1,000 purse gets reported as “felony theft” and a “shoplifting epidemic.”

[TONI TONE @t0nit0ne]

I need to trim my wedding guest list and I was told to ask myself these questions: Have you had a lengthy conversation in the past 6 months? / Do they invite you to personal events? / Do you know their last name? / How would you feel if you weren’t invited to their wedding?

[gene belcher, public defender @AbolitionEsq]

prosecutors at recruitment events: honestly this job is the best because i get to use my discretion and make sure to always do justice.

prosecutors by email: sowwwy my boss said no again 👉👈🥺