Tom Nash

An idiot savant except not a savant.

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

I doubt this will make any difference but:

Please don't watch or share videos circulating of people having sex when we have no idea if they've consented to them being recorded and shared online. Even celebrities have a right to sexual privacy.

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

@faintghostglow Thank you so much. I hope you're doing well though! X

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

I've now been a widower for just over a month, and the hollowed-out feeling of heartbreak keeps getting worse.

If you're lucky enough to have someone who loves you, don't get caught up in fights and bad feeling. The wider, deeper picture matters more.

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

@perrigame Thanks so much, Perri. I appreciate it a lot. Really hope all is excellent with you x

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

@heartshapedoll Thanks Astrid - I don't share much online is why! But this is lovely and I appreciate it, thank you x

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

I honestly don't understand the popularity of the "I Need A New Bum!" books. The rhymes are lazy, the metre doesn't scan... Reading a kid one is an exercise in trying to polish a turd. Except I paid for the turd. I PAID FOR THE TURD.

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

"How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?" The answer is not "blowing in the wind", Dylan, you bozo. You already set up the premise that he's a man before he goes down any roads. So it's zero. ZERO.

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

Softplay after Christmas may be the first time there have been no dads with holes in their socks. Bravo, Santa.

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

@heyhayley I am very much a man with one foot in the grave, and one foot in a child's swimming pool.

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

I dressed as "Mr Half-and-Half" for Halloween last night. Had to go to the doctor's this morning and completely forgot I was still rocking a key element of my costume. A great day to be this guy.

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

@jsdebeer Twitter's glory days. They can never take them away from us.

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

@AuntCunt Have you seen Laid To Rest? Someone gets it jammed in their ear until their head explodes, IT'S PRETTY GREAT

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

@turdette_ Sweet work! Happy birthday dude

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman is such a weird title for a show. What's next? Dentist Quinn, Toothbrush Woman? Undertaker Quinn, Coffin Woman?

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

@turdette_ Adding ya for the excellent Patton vibes, pal.

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

@turdette_ @MrBungle Fucking fantastic sign!

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

@AuntCunt Second half is better, for sure.

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

@IrradiatedMouse Looks like a humblebrag about your clean eating to me.

[Tom Nash @nashtom]

Piss-poor journalism from @DailyMirror @Daily_Express and particularly @birmingham_live - there's clickbait headlines and then there's totally untrue ones. If you put £1000 in, you have a chance to win back £1000. This is financially misleading.

[Crémieux @cremieuxrecueil]

Paleo artists often "shrink wrap" fossilized animal depictions

The T-Rex, Utahraptor, Triceratops—popular depictions of each of these animals shows skin so close to bone that it might be unrealistic

So let's shrink-wrap existing animals🧵

Can you guess what this is?