The kindest thing literature does is remind you that your peculiar little feelings have always existed. Someone, in some century, was equally confused by love, bored by society, tired of performing, and hungry for meaning.
Everyone loves preaching about mental health on the timeline, but the brutal truth is nobody actually wants to be around a depressed person.
The second your struggle becomes an inconvenience, the distancing begins. Society loves the aesthetic of support and the hashtags, but they despise the reality. Real depression isn't a cute movie scene; it's zero energy and canceled plans. The moment you stop being fun, you are suddenly labeled as "negative," a "burden," or "too heavy to handle." They want you healed, but refuse &
sit in the dark with you while you hurt. People will literally watch you drown and then complain that your splashing is ruining their vibe. You learn very quickly who actually, loves you, and who just loved the entertaining version of you.
The silence you get from your "friends" when you hit rock bottom is the loudest reality check of adulthood.
[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you, [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you, [looking at myself] it's over.
There was a time when empire feared the photograph of a naked child burned by napalm.
Now it has learned that the modern public can watch a thousand such images and still call itself informed instead of implicated.
That is the upgrade.
Not the disappearance of atrocity.
The domestication of it.
The conversion of unbearable truth into something you can consume between errands.
If this had happened in any Western city, the news would have run in newspapers and television channels round-the-clock for over a week, whipping up anger against the perpetrators. But since the murderers in this case are zionists and white americans, it has been reduced to just another unfortunate incident.
controversial: the best thing that can happen to a young man is total failure before 25.
not small failure. catastrophic, humiliating, public failure. the kind where everyone sees. the kind where you cant hide from it.
because it destroys the one thing that was going to hold him back his entire life. the fear of it happening.
once it happens you realise it didnt kill you. you got back up. you rebuilt. and now you move different because the worst case scenario already happened and you survived it.
after it happens you're free. be more retarded. just do it.
"an idea, a feeling became clear to me. the hunter did not hate the wolf. the wolf did not hate the sheep. but violence felt inevitable between them. perhaps, i thought, this was the way of the world."