gnat

soon after I killed myself I found a job here, at kamakaze pizza

[barrel rolls @barrel_rolls]

put yourself in my crocs your honor

[ً @wynrosei]

"What radicalized you?"
Watching my female relatives plan, cook, shop, decorate, clean, and organize for the holidays while the men just show up and watch TV the whole time.

[☿ ‧₊˚ .:*・ @777ftdeep]

whoever got the blue honda at walmart your kids smoking the roaches out your ashtray

[swinky @swinkying]

you’re on Very thick ice with me . i love you

[S.🎧 @1ssve]

Can't believe it’s already May. Time flies when you work everyday of your fucking life

[dash @thedigitaldash_]

i wanna take the bar exam just to see what i get. no law school whatsoever like just for funsies

[Echo 🔆 @TheEcho13]

If you don’t think your wife is playful and fun anymore, you did that to her. Not time. You. Feminine nature is young and playful by default. If you’re not giving her an environment where she can preserve it, you’re stripping her of it.

[John Delmenico @thebigjohnnyd]

You're laughing? A cop testified under oath that he does not know if Afroman fucked his wife, and you're laughing?

[Valentina V. @valentinavoight]

doing shrooms in Sweden at 9PM but you can’t tell because it never gets dark & you’re there with ur avoidant bf who hates u & his friends who just want him to break up with u after ur mom & dad were killed by ur bipolar sister

[Maryam @hell_line0]

When will men realize she’s not jealous, she’s embarrassed. Watching her man lust over random women online is just pathetic.

[Zakia @zakiaonsol]

I cannot fuck with people who, when they're mad they say extremely hurtful things but when they calm down they want to backtrack and say they didn't mean it. Yes, you did. Stand in it.

[Black Girl @t_sadiity]

TurboTax keep emailing me, I'm waiting on my W2 ima fw chu just hold on

[Mohamad Safa @mhdksafa]

For the record: cops aren't supposed to kill guilty people either.

[Rusty 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @ImSmilingRn]

Honey get in the car. We have to go to the store because we're retarded and it's christmas eve

[zade @tyl0saur]

if i were to “picture everybody in the room naked” i would be STUNNED and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. but thanks for the advice.

[chase @_chase_____]

a white refrigerator with a bunch of random wedding invites and christmas cards and receipts and menus and magnets of places you’ve been is actually so chic and glamorous

[Juniper @adesertdryad]

don’t do wife shit if you aren’t a wife needs to be beaten into the skull of every agreeable working class and middle class girl in the country. do not have a mortgage together. do not do his laundry. no not cook all his meals. do not raise his kids.

[꩜ @laylology]

Wellbutrin dose going hard today I just looked in the mirror and said "gratitude is the attitude" out of nowhere

[ellory smith @ellorysmith]

The world is full of people who lack agency in their life and therefore feel compelled to make every interaction their last stand against the Infringement