Reckless Randy

If you ain't first, you're last... Hero's get rembered, but legends never die... Live life so well that even Death will hesitate to take you.

[Reckless Randy @needle_nick]

A #RowdyGentleman is forever a urinal distance champion.

[Reckless Randy @needle_nick]

Beer goggles aren't working.

[Rowdy Gentleman 🇺🇸 @RowdyGentleman]

A Rowdy Gentleman’s relationship status is “at the strip club.”

[Reckless Randy @needle_nick]

That smell you get right before you take a big drink #Smithwicks

[Reckless Randy @needle_nick]

First #KCCOBlackLager and it's amazing! #ChiveOn

[Reckless Randy @needle_nick]

Would you rather have penis-sized nipples or a nipple-sized penis?

[Texas Humor @TexasHumor]

Anyone who says they hate Texas has never been. If they have, they've never floated the Guadalupe in June, beer in hand.

[Texas Humor @TexasHumor]

I'm most attracted to girls who keep extra koozies in their purse.

[Reckless Randy @needle_nick]

“@UberFacts: In Canada, it is considered sexual assault to kiss your significant other while they are sleeping.” #fuckweek

[Reckless Randy @needle_nick]

“@WhatTheFFacts: Egyptian women used to insert stones into their vaginas as a form of birth control.” #fuckweek

[Reckless Randy @needle_nick]

“@Haley_Garnett: Louisiana 🐊”ewww

[Reckless Randy @needle_nick]

Where the hell is the new video?!?! @DomMazzetti

[Reckless Randy @needle_nick]

Naw brain, it's good. It's not like I gotta be up in 4 hours or anything like that. You can quit thinking whenever you like. P.S. Fuck you.

[Reckless Randy @needle_nick]

“@ElegantEmmalee: I'm so tired. I wish classes were cancelled so I can go back to bed.” Lazy

[Reckless Randy @needle_nick]

“@Borgore: Australia , Bae is on his way <3 http://t.co/7DzPszosQH” Can you make a stop in Guam?

[Reckless Randy @needle_nick]

Oh, it's a deep burn! I don't know if you were counting, but I did over a thousand. #LegDay #RonBurgundy

[Reckless Randy @needle_nick]

There is nothing better than seeing your hard work pay-off #progress #PainAndGain

[Reckless Randy @needle_nick]

I can't wait to get off this damn island. It's a fucking prison full of strippers and white sandy beaches. I hate it.