neil josten

if you weren’t born out of wedlock, I’m not interested

[Duke Max “Carnival Lawyer” Ash @mynameisntdave]

Literally fucking cannot stand when my goddamned jinglehorse doesn’t pick up it’s stupid-ass feet

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

CANNOT stop thinking about Lilith. catholicism may have removed her from Genesis and made “Eve” adam’s first wife but fuck Eve. Lilith is the only Bible bitch i respect

[neil josten @neil_jos10]

@SAlvarexy my cats all play fetch and greet me at the door. i wish they wouldn’t, because there’s six of them, but they do

[james tom @jestom]

when I take a shower it's like wow maybe I do have potential

[Mariya Alexander @MariyaAlexander]

It’s not resting bitch face I am actively putting a curse on you and your entire family

[neil josten @neil_jos10]

@J_Moreau29 faites un trou dans la boîte et secouez la balle.

[neil josten @neil_jos10]

@AReynolds_07 yeah

[neil josten @neil_jos10]

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

[neil josten @neil_jos10]

@jackedsteel @Andrew03Minyard @robin_cross_13 cat thief. she’s not worth a lot

[neil josten @neil_jos10]

@Andrew03Minyard i have a name

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

sometimes i think about the woman at the bar who asked where i’m from and when i said “texas” she answered “we have one of those in our country too.” ma’am there’s only one texas

[James @CaucasianJames]

eating a tortilla just thinking

[Jean Moreau @J_Moreau29]

“i don’t think i’ll have kids”
-plain
-invites room for argument

“this bloodline dies with me”
-assertive
-metal as fuck
-implies that you’ve accepted a great and terrible burden which leaves no room for argument

[neil josten @neil_jos10]

@Andrew03Minyard whatever i can manage to get him to do. i’ll take what i can get

[neil josten @neil_jos10]

i’m going to train my cat

[neil josten @neil_jos10]

i have no doubt i could win a ping pong match against a wall. a one man game of ping pong tournament.

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

testosterone masculinizes and estrogen feminizes, but if you wanna androgynize you gotta inject pure fuckin adrenaline. can’t assign a gender to incomparable panic

[neil josten @neil_jos10]

@Andrew03Minyard you’re in the baby store

[Andrew Minyard @Andrew03Minyard]

@foxynicky08 “The doctor said she’s supposed to eat baby food, but my partner lets her eat anything. Popcorn. Hot dogs. Soup. Chips. Walnuts. One time I walked into the room and found him calmly watching her balancing precariously on the windowsill, eating dirt out of a potted plant.”