Jennifer Ordman

Two scoops of crazy with a side of coo-coo-cachoo!

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

77% of voters say corruption in government is a top issue.
@GStephanopoulos @DavidMuir @jorgeramosnews @LinseyDavis Ask the candidates what they'll do to stop #gerrymandering, close the revolving door, and reduce the influence of special interests. #AskAboutDemocracy

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

@Complex @Gallegos9991

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

@Gallegos9991 What the f***?!! (But seriously where can I find some?)

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

Me: Help! I'm struggling to keep my head above water. You: Why don't you add a diet and strict budget to it. #thatshouldhelp #fml

[OneFunnyMummy @OneFunnyMummy]

I love when my kids are quiet. Those ten seconds a day are priceless.

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

I have eaten ham every day since Saturday. I will be physically ill if I even look at a pig again in my life #nomorepork

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

My daughter has just eaten jelly beans, gum, and BBQ chips and my son has pooped his pants...all since 6:15am. #HappyEaster

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

I think that if I hold my breath long enough all the bad things will go away #lightheaded

[Spencer @13spencer]

I'm not saying that Jesus was crucified because he wore sandals, but I don't think it helped his case.

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

If you ever come to my office, don't use the letter opener. I use it to scratch places I can't reach. #worksupplies

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

Why did I get out of bed today? It only causes panic and worry.

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

@WaterCoffeeWine @BinnysBev only the best for working mamas!

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

Best part of having the flu this week is the codeine cough syrup #sweetdreams

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

Keep holding on to hope without assurances; holding on to a memory of light - @Thrice I hope I can

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

This just happened https://t.co/36GtNjKE9I

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

Nothing like the thought of "family time" to really get my anxiety started #saturdaymorning

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

How come when skinny girls wear baggy sweats, they look sporty. But when I do it, I'm a fat slob and look "absolutely horrible"

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

I will catch up to you, run over your throat with my car, and then stick my turning signal up your a**. #roadrage

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

@heartnskull999 same. I'm contemplating what I'm gonna say when I "just have to leave early" today.

[Jennifer Ordman @nerdmom325]

@heartnskull999 what? Being awesome?!