Alfred

Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because the regret is stronger than gratitude.

[Longtime Black Man Here @groove_sdc]

I hate y'all lol.

[DP 🐐 @AyoVanta_]

At this rate, all y’all flyers look the same. We don’t know if you’re selling food, promoting a party, or doing taxes. 😭

[Rep. Summer Lee @RepSummerLee]

The Pentagon is the only place in America where you can fail 8 audits in a row, admit you’ll fail the next few & still get handed more money than you asked for.

But let a family need help buying groceries and suddenly it’s a lecture about hard work, responsibility & bootstraps.

[Yams Cooking Yams⚜️ @LiviSymone]

I’m sorry I couldn’t get it out my head 😭

[Dolo 👁‍🗨 @e38]

I never heard him adlib “DADDY!!!!!” Cause closed

[Boo @IzaBooboo]

Ok, but

[Pharaoh👳🏾‍♂️👑 @MrMekzy_]

The distance between your house and your job really affects your quality of life.

[mellromao @mellromao]

“Quando eu estiver de mau humor não direi nada, mas haverá sinais.”
Os sinais:

[✨Lovely✨ @ItsLovelyLaveau]

Being THIS triggered by a holiday is comical as fuck every year 😂😂😂

Something that LITERALLY impacts nothing in their lives. Calling it fake or made up or too exclusive…

But have a BALL on Cinco de Mayo, St Patrick’s Day, ARBOR DAY….

But for “some reason”… today..nvm😂

[Maryam @hell_line0]

Idk but Michelle Obama telling Barack “You told me all those years ago that you couldn't promise me the world, but you could promise me an interesting life. And, of course you outdid yourself and managed to give me both." is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard someone say to another 🥹

[Ichigo Niggasake @SomaKazima2]

LMFAOOOOOOOO

[nonie_nonz @nonz_nonie]

I was told technology would eliminate unnecessary work. Instead, I now have too many passwords, verification codes, and a robot asking me if I'm a robot. 😫

[🎀 planet clarke 🎀 @planetclarke]

“Women have a hard time submitting to men because it’s hard for Gods to submit to their own creations” altered my brain chemistry a little bit ngl

[💕 Doll Face✨ @smoke_nd_pearlz]

I know he was messy.

[𝗠𝘂𝗵𝗲𝗲 ♛ @muheediva01]

When millenials finally get some power. Can we pleaseeeeee have a 4 day work week and 3 day weekend. The weekends go too fast 😫

[R(R) @real1800splurge]

somewhere in your 20s or 30s you’ll get the opportunity to rebuild your life after a negative loop. its very important that you see that journey through

[Cłoùd𖤐 @vapefuls]

went through my transaction history and everything adds up, nobody stole from me

[Meech @MediumSizeMeech]

He forgot where he was for a split second LOLOLLLLL he said “ahhh bitches is mad”

[Viewside Björk 🎨 @OverdozeOnDEEZ]

He was Courtside when The Knicks only won 10 games, he’s one of the only Celebs who pays for their Knicks tickets because him & Dolan hate each other, he doesn’t even use The Celebrity entrance at MSG

Spike Lee’s love for The Knicks is the purest thing in this world, he deserves