While prowling a UWSP lab, teen tarantula George Leroy Tirebiter was bitten by a radioactive trivia research genius. With human thralls, he plays 90fm's Trivia.
We'll meet again,
Don't know where,
Don't know when
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day
Keep smiling through,
Just like you always do
'Til the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away...
Contrary to trending opinion, Elon Musk is a visionary genius with an uncanny talent for finding shortcuts to success, aided by a knack for inspiring excellence from his associates & employees. Overpaying for Twitter was just a way to accelerate attrition. All is well.
(parody)
But seriously, folks. Don't you think Twitter is busting user engagement records and raking in the ad revenue with this Twitter-Is-Dead meme?
Maybe dying will save it...
@NetworkTrivia Twitter: I'm not dead yet!
Public: Hey, it says it's not dead.
Experts: Yes it is.
Twitter: I'm not.
Public: It isn't.
Experts: Well, it will be soon. It's very ill.
Twitter: I'm getting better.
Experts: No you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
Twitter: I feel happy! BAM!
Breaking at Fake News Network: theoretical physicists have published a paper proving that Hallmark will eventually produce an infinite number of Christmas movies, and that this is the actual reason that the universe is expanding so quickly (to make space for needed data storage).