Barry

I'm not late, I'm just less early. I write and sing songs:

[Barry @newdless]

Yeah so BBC website. Still not quite getting the idea of the Olympics being finished. It's time to report on actual news again.

[Barry @newdless]

The BBC know the Olympics is actually finished right? Stuff not relating to the Olympics is allowed to appear on their website again now.

[Barry @newdless]

@IzzyLdn Annd slightlly gingerist. I mean I don't know whether to feel privelidged or insulted by it.

[Barry @newdless]

Also why are random people constantly stalking my instagram in the first place?

[Barry @newdless]

How is it twice as many people like my video on Instagram as what have actually viewed it? How does this work exactly?

[Barry @newdless]

@IzzyLdn Haha. That's nothing. I got free entry to the Zoo on Friday because it was orangutan day and apparently they resemble ginger people

[Barry @newdless]

@bradcantona No but I'm genuinely baffled. If it's just a case of making it up as you go why bother even having rules?

[Barry @newdless]

I'm confused. If it's not the Italian FA rules that ban him, and it's not the English FA rules that ban him...why is he banned?

[Barry @newdless]

But because he's changed from one country to the other...he's banned?

[Barry @newdless]

So if Pogba was still in Italy, he wouldn't be banned, if he'd picked up the yellow cards he did in Italy in England, he wouldn't be banned.

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

ADD insult to injury by writing the word ‘Twat’ on someone’s plaster cast.
(via @TeaAndCopy)

[Barry @newdless]

Walking the plank with style is such a pointlessly British thing to be good at

[manutd23 @manutd24]

MIDDLE AGED MAN PREMIER LEAGUE

Baffled by rapper: 10 points

'Who is [rapper]?': 20 points

'What is a [rapper's name]?!?!': 50 points

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

IMAGINE you’re at a sleepover gone wrong by watching judo. (via @LoveSpanner)

[Barry @newdless]

How do you "dare to believe" in something exactly?

"I dare you to believe in Nicolas Cage's acting ability"

"Er"

"DARE TO BELIEVE"

"ok"

[Barry @newdless]

Paul Pogba firmly cements United's status as having the worst set of haircuts in the Premier League.

[Barry @newdless]

Maths quiz: What's 88.5% of 60% as an overall percentage? https://t.co/XJzCvLKmv9

[BBC Sussex @BBCSussex]

Southern rail bosses say 88.5% of the 60% of services running today have been on time. #southernstrike

[Ben Talks United 🔴 @bentalksutd]

Honestly Fellaini has nudes of every single manager in the world. I'm convinced.

[Alan Cooper @MrAlanCooper]

What could possibly go wrong? #WeekendTweet