noah bailey

[noah bailey @niceandeasyme]

Just found a Chapstick in the dryer. Another noble soul lost in the never ending battle to keep my lips soft

[noah bailey @niceandeasyme]

Already wishing it was party time tonight. If I don't wake up tomorrow just know I will have died in a wonderful state of mind. Fucked up!!!

[noah bailey @niceandeasyme]

I've already had too much to eat and it isn't even 11 #christmasfatty

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

There’s nothing like the look of wonder on a child’s face on Christmas morning when he doesn’t get anything.

[Demetri Martin ([email protected]) @DemetriMartin]

Peace on Earth (restrictions apply, price & participation may vary, for limited time only, may not include Middle East or its surroundings)

[noah bailey @niceandeasyme]

#hashtag

[noah bailey @niceandeasyme]

@JenLeeDow hahaha

[noah bailey @niceandeasyme]

@JenLeeDow never!

[noah bailey @niceandeasyme]

When in doubt just levitate it

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Many of you suck.

[noah bailey @niceandeasyme]

I would rather listen to deaf people singing the national anthem while mimes do interpretive dance than listen to fucking Christmas songs!

[noah bailey @niceandeasyme]

My ideal woman? The wicked witch of the west. The things i could do with my own army of flying monkeys!

[noah bailey @niceandeasyme]

A foothills brewery truck would drive by and make me wish I wasn't at work!

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

Party going on too long? Go up to your guests and whisper, “I hope you’ll stay for my dream journal reading.”

[noah bailey @niceandeasyme]

Fucked up in Charlotte with my people. Loving every minute!

[noah bailey @niceandeasyme]

@dreys_mama going to be one hell of a weekend though!

[noah bailey @niceandeasyme]

Whistle while you work, whistle while you twerk, and most importantly... Twerk while you work

[noah bailey @niceandeasyme]

@KNIVESY I was but I'm working on my immortality

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

America, I'm sure you'll be happy to know the North Korean government is running as smoothly as ever.

[noah bailey @niceandeasyme]

When I get old some one needs to put me down if I start wearing old guy clothes. Please!