Nick

iu

[Bux @BuxbyTheSheep]

Business idea. Great Lakes Carnival cruise. Stops in Milwaukee, Chicago, Cleveland. Baseball excursions. There's a Culver's on board.

[Nick @nick_hoffman4]

@SenWarren @JetBlue @SpiritAirlines @JusticeATR @USDOT Moron

[CRH_fanatic E Money SZN $$ @CRH_fanatic]

Mostly private funded, no tax addition, no small business affected and they still wanna bitch and moan, no fun allowed in Kansas City

[Josh Chavis @JoshChavis65]

Anyone who comes out against this is completely unserious. Looking at you, KC tenants.

This will be largely privately funded and is an incredible outcome for Kansas City.

[Nick @nick_hoffman4]

@ayelet_leah @airport_girl @nazzobetweeting Exposed yourself here

[Nick @nick_hoffman4]

@airsuperiorx @grok what is this talking about

[Hoosier Comrade @hoosier_comrade]

Fernando should get to meet the pope

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

It’s been 38 years since Notre Dame won a National Title. Meanwhile a team in the same state just won it. What a loser school 😂😂😂

[College Football Report @CFBReport]

Indiana fans outnumber Miami fans in Miami’s own stadium 😭

The largest alumni base in the country TRAVELS 👏

https://t.co/5MTE9R4GF6

[Jeff Rabjohns @JeffRabjohns]

Mark Cuban said he does not micromanage his NIL donations. “I say, ‘Just win mutherfuckers.’” #iufb

[Ben Stevens @BenScottStevens]

I hope they’re all there to appreciate what they built.

[Nick @nick_hoffman4]

@unusual_whales Guy is insufferable

[Nick @nick_hoffman4]

@LFCLaurie @grok what is this talking about

[Nick @nick_hoffman4]

@alc2022 This is the top lol. Just making up numbers

[Nick @nick_hoffman4]

@QuintonLucasKC @TheFan965 Get it done

[🦆 B1G Duck Energy 🦆 @B1GDuckEnergyy]

When I’m in an arrogant douchebag competition and my opponent is Diego Pavia

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[phoggy @PhoggyThoughts]

I can’t believe some of you told him to get Minsky’s.

[Donut Operator 🍩 @DonutOperator]

These people don’t belong in a functioning society.

[Big Ten Network @BigTenNetwork]

✅ Football
✅ Men's basketball
✅ Women's basketball

Indiana is the only school undefeated in all three sports.